We had a saying at work:It seems like when you do favors for people over time it becomes an expectation.
“Every day, do just a little more than is expected of you and soon, more will be expected of you. No good deed goes unpunished. Keep doing more and more with less and less and one day you can do everything with nothing. “
If the person you’re helping has no more appreciation than you describe, then you’re not doing them or yourself any favors. You’re being used. It’s high time to let them know that everything has a price and that price is based on market value. The only language that people like that understand is the language on the bill that a paid contractor uses to describe how much they owe.
If you grew up like me, it is hard to not be generous with neighbors. I believe that having good neighbors is the result of being a good neighbor, but I won’t let someone use me because they think I owe them something. I owe nothing to no one except my wife and it’s a foregone conclusion that I will never be able to pay her back for all she has done for me. I’m retired and don’t work for a living anymore. I work becauseI have something to do or someone needs help, and I’ll gladly do that rather than sit around watching tv. I can’t be still, and I was raised to never let someone struggle if I can help. My modification to that training was a simple “and if I know they appreciate it”. For the most part, I help anyone that asks, but won’t hesitate to put my hand out for some cash if I know the deed won’t be reciprocated.