Not trying to dispute your experience. Just wondering how the cylinder fluid could leak out if the cylinder control valve was holding correctly.
The theory seems to be that the cylinder rod would extend when pulled, but should not retract (much) even when forced, if there is no leakage path for fluid To leave the cylinder. Granted, hoses can expand and so on.
BUT you experience seems contrary to the theory.
I am finding this thread a worthwhile learning experience.
Thanks for your question, it made me think a little deeper into my theory.
I won't pretend to be a tractor hydraulic specialist by any means, I continually try to relate my industrial experience to the tractor world and believe me I sometimes find the way some systems are plumbed and especially the terminology confusing, but many components are the same.
From my experience and comments from many on this site, it appears most Kubota backhoe cylinders leak down over as little as a few hours just sitting while the tractor is shut down. The boom cylinder will drop onto the mechanical safety latch in a few minutes or less, even if the tractor is running
In the case of holding a load with the thumb, you have clamped the load and now you have let the control valve lever go back to a neutral position. You are not continually applying system pressure to the cylinder overcoming the leak.
So, my thought is with one side of the cylinder under pressure (clamping or holding the load) the other has a leakage path to tank thru the valve bank as they are not made to the close tolerances of an industrial valve, thus the leaking seal and valve bank gave a place for the oil to flow to tank, the best explanation I have.
In my industrial experience this would not be the case, I believe the industrial components are made to a much closer tolerance so leakage is much less of or not an issue, also in any industrial system I have worked on if the cylinder was in a vertical or any position and holding a critical or heavy load there would be a counterbalance valve to restrict any flow, not allowing the cylinder rod and any connected load to drift over time.
If there is a tractor hydraulic expert available, I am also willing to learn or have my theory corrected.