Daily Chuckle

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

Even Gladiators need a little vacation time

 

[Magicman]

My wife told me that the car wasn't running well because there was water in the carburetor. I asked he where the car was and she said "in the lake".

 

[Bmyers]

 

[i7win7]

A 5-year old boy went to visit his grandmother one day. While playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting furniture, he looked up and said, "Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend?"

Grandma replied, "Honey, my TV is my boyfriend. I can set in my bedroom and watch it all day long. The TV evangelists keep me company and make me feel so good.The comedies make me laugh. I'm so happy with my TV as my boyfriend." Grandma turned on the TV and the picture was horrible. She started adjusting the knobs trying to get the picture in focus. Frustrated, she started hitting on the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring so he hurried to open the door.When he opened the door, there stood Grandma's minister. The minister said, "Hello son is your grandma home?"

The little boy replied, "Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend."

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

The scene is sometime in the old era when cockpits had round dials plus flight engineer and navigators. The crusty old timer captain is breaking in a brand new navigator.
The captain opens his briefcase, pulls out a .38 and rests it on the glare panel. He asks the navigator, "Know what this is for?"
"No, sir," replies the newbie.
"I use it on navigators that get us lost," explains the captain, winking at his first officer.
The navigator then opens his briefcase, pulls out a .45 an sets it on his chart table.
"What's THAT for?" queries the surprised captain.
""Well, sir," replies the navigator, "I'll know we're lost before you will."

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[anthonyv]

 

[i7win7]

One dismal rainy night in Sydney a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door.
Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.

'Where to?' he stammered.

'Kings Cross,' answered the woman.

'You got it,' he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.

The woman caught him staring at her and asked, 'Just what the hell are you looking at, driver?'

'Well, madam,' he answered, 'I was just wondering how you'll pay your fare.'

The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said,

'Does this answer your question?'

Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, 'Got anything smaller?'

 

[i7win7]

 

[bmblank]

View attachment 64636

Butter or freezer jam... Either way it's going on my toast.

 

[i7win7]

It's better than a spare tire

 

[i7win7]

Unload the upstairs furniture first

 

[dirtydeed]

It's better than a spare tire
View attachment 64728

Perhaps, only slightly.

 

[D2Cat]

 

[D2Cat]

 

[Fordtech86]