Daily Chuckle
- Thread starter skeets
- Start date
BAP
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
2012 Kubota 2920, 60MMM, FEL, BH65 48" Bush Hog, 60"Backblade, B2782B Snowblower
I am laughing Soo Hard that I can hardly type. You just can't make something like that up. I would pay real money to see something like that first hand. I'm surprised she didn't try one of the other sprays to see if it would counteract it.
Naw, I copied and pasted it from another forum that allows me to visit! It was just too good to not share.
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
armylifer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1860, FEL, RCK54P MMM, BB1548 Box Scraper, Quick Hitch, Piranha Bar, BX6315
armylifer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1860, FEL, RCK54P MMM, BB1548 Box Scraper, Quick Hitch, Piranha Bar, BX6315
Yeah, happy tears like I have not read a joke as funny as that one in awhile. in addition to just being plain funny, it made me think of my kids when reading Snow White to them all those years ago.
Why must you serve Thanksgiving dinner on hubcaps?
Because there's no plate like chrome for the Holidays...
Because there's no plate like chrome for the Holidays...
For all you military folks out there...
While on Deployment to the sandbox, I was the low person on the totem pole, AKA lowest ranking individual. I got all the daily duties, mail, supply, etc...
I got the mail one day, and brought it back.
After tossing it into the crowd
(you don't hand mail out, you just throw it in the general direction of he person addressed), i noticed a young man reading a letter, tears just rolling down his face.
Being a kind soul, I went over to comfort him, and find out what was wrong.
He held out the letter, from his girlfriend, and said
"my girl just sent me the new farm tractor catalog..."
I looked over and sure enough, pictures of new model green tractors and implements were enclosed with the letter...
Poor kid, he got a John Deere letter....
While on Deployment to the sandbox, I was the low person on the totem pole, AKA lowest ranking individual. I got all the daily duties, mail, supply, etc...
I got the mail one day, and brought it back.
After tossing it into the crowd
(you don't hand mail out, you just throw it in the general direction of he person addressed), i noticed a young man reading a letter, tears just rolling down his face.
Being a kind soul, I went over to comfort him, and find out what was wrong.
He held out the letter, from his girlfriend, and said
"my girl just sent me the new farm tractor catalog..."
I looked over and sure enough, pictures of new model green tractors and implements were enclosed with the letter...
Poor kid, he got a John Deere letter....
armylifer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1860, FEL, RCK54P MMM, BB1548 Box Scraper, Quick Hitch, Piranha Bar, BX6315
Mental hospital phone menu
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the Beep or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term Memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
MENTAL HOSPITAL PHONE MENU
Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital
Please select from the following options menu:
If you are obsessive-compulsive, press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.
If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.
If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want, stay on the line so we can trace your call.
If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother Ship.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing will make you happy anyway.
If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.
If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the Beep or after the beep.
Please wait for the beep.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term Memory loss, press 9.
If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.
If you have low self-esteem, please hang up our operators are too busy to talk with you.
If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and cry. You won't be crazy forever.
If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up.
This coming week is National Mental Health Care week. You can do your part by remembering to contact at least one unstable person to show you care.
85Hokie
Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX-25D ,PTB. Under Armor, '90&'92-B7100HST's, '06 BX1850 FEL
Last edited:
Nancy Pelosi brought a civil suit against a hospital in California, said after her husband had surgery he no longer had any interest in sex.
A hospital spokesperson said the surgery was for cataracts all they done was improve his vision!
A hospital spokesperson said the surgery was for cataracts all they done was improve his vision!