Top this "Lost Key" story of mine!

[bird dogger]

In light of the recent interest in lost keys & replacement keys, I’ll offer my lost key experience for some good laughs at my own expense.

This happened to me a year ago and kind of resembles the old “Field & Stream” magazine articles titled, “This Really Happened to Me!!” This event includes a lost key fob, stupidity, my tractor, lots of blood, amnesia, a trip to the ER, followed by a mystery solved, yet not solved!! You cannot make this stuff up. Continue reading for some pure entertainment! It happened exactly like this:

Early in that summer I lost the normally used key fob to my Tacoma pickup. It had to be somewhere on my 18 acres because the Tacoma was in my garage when I needed the fob to run an errand.

Checking all the normal places in the house where the fob is left……turned up nothing. A quick check in the shop…also nothing. To run the errand, I just grabbed the 2nd fob, knowing the other would turn up quickly. Or so I thought.

However, over the summer months I checked every corner, nook, cranny, drawer, room, etc. in the house. Upstairs, downstairs, behind the couch, in the couch, etc., etc., etc. No fob.

The same for my shop garage. Every tool drawer, box, corner, hidden floor nook or crack, cupboards, and a thousand other possibilities all turned up nothing.

It has now been a month or two without that first fob. My locksmith buddy warned me I better buy another fob before I lose the only remaining fob. If I lost that, too, it would be an expensive project to redo the keyless system in the Tacoma without any working fobs!!

Over the next month I scoured my 70 x 70 ft. storage shed full of stuff. Even the mezzanines. I did find some missing items, but they were not the fob!

I walked multiple trips up and down along both sides of the half mile of roadside ditch bank that I mow alongside the acreage. Hoping to at least find some chewed up remnants of the fob after it had gone through the mower. Still nothing.

I walked every row of sweet corn and everything else in the 3 acres of tillable ground here. Not a trace of the fob or its parts. Repeated the hunt after rototilling and cultivating and still found nothing.

Searching up and down, through and around all the windbreaks, lawn, woods, and trails, turned up nothing but wood ticks.

It was now late September and the locksmith buddy convinced me to order a replacement fob. It was only about $70. We would program it as soon as it arrived. I gave up on finding the original and ordered its replacement which was due to arrive in 10 days or less.

A couple of days later I decided to do some maintenance on the Kubota. Change engine oil, check hydraulic oil, air filter, safety switches etc. Last item left on the list was to grease the fittings.

Starting with the loader, I raised it up to shoulder/head height to make it easier to grease the loader and get at some of the fittings. Started greasing the one side of the loader and worked around to the other side. Then dropped down to do the lower fittings… as in hydraulic pedal, 3-point, brake pedals and back to the front end.

To be continued!!

 

[bird dogger]

Here’s where things went afoul. I think something fell out of my top shirt pocket and I stooped down to pick it up from just under tractor’s front end. When I stood up, I pivoted around back towards the tractor’s front again and…..WHAM!! My lights went out! Something had clobbered me on the right side of my face. I dropped to my knees in a daze. It seemed like just a few seconds later, but it could have been longer, when I thought: You idiot, you left the loader up in the air. This is not going to turn out well, at all!! Keep calm and assess the situation. Keep your eyes closed until you find your glasses to make sure of no broken splinters or anything else stuck in your face.

Feeling with my right hand I found no glasses on my face. No blood seemed to be gushing from any gash on my right side of the head. All my teeth seemed to be in place. The shock and pain had now subsided when I felt something touching my left cheek & neck. My glasses were now dangling from my left ear. No right bow on them, but the lenses were intact. You lucky dude, you may have just dodged a bullet!!

I opened my eyes and could see!! Whew! My glasses were old and needed replacing anyway. But I’d surely be getting a big “shiner” that would need explanation. I robbed a non-matching bow from an old pair of glasses and cobbled it onto the broken pair of glasses. It’s tough to see both sides of the glasses at the same time anyway so mismatched bows shouldn’t be a big deal. Off to look in a mirror to inspect the certain black eye and all the bruising.

Surprise! There was no black eye. In fact, not a scratch or blemish to be found. How could that be?? Then no explanation to the wife needed either!! So thankful that everything would be back to normal now! Over the next 4 days I completely forgot about the tractor incident. And why would I tell anyone about it anyway!! And the new key fob should get here in just a few more days, too.

Then at noon while taking a break, sitting in a chair watching tv, I thought I must be getting a cold as I could tell my nose/sinus was starting to drain a little into the back of my throat. Oh, well. But it started to drain more and more. Then it seemed to be getting quite warm. What the heck?? It turned out to be blood

Suddenly, it was a lot of blood! Too much blood!! I about drowned while rushing to the bathroom. Good thing the wife was not home!! With head over the sink, the blood was coming out almost as fast as one can say drip, drip, drip, drip, drip…. After a bit, I closed the sink stopper and was admiring the prettiest bright red blood accumulating. Remembering high school biology, I deduced it had to be oxygenated blood right from the heart/lungs as it was so bright red. How cool was this!! There was also now at least 3 or four cupfuls in the sink at minimum.

Oh, oh! Maybe I had better try stop the flow before I pass out on the floor and bleed out? Then the wife would certainly be pissed at the mess. Packing the nose with gauze and pinching the top for half an hour seemed to have it stopped. Whew! I cleaned up the blood trail, hid the evidence, and thought it’d be pertinent to take it easy the rest of the day.

That evening, it happened again. The wife, (now home) said “We’re going to the ER!” I replied, “This is nothing compared to the noon gusher. I could have sailed a boat on the red sea in the bathroom sink! I’ll get it under control again and we’ll see how it goes tomorrow (Sunday)”.

Sunday afternoon, to a lesser degree again, it started to bleed. Not profusely, but steadily. So off to the ER we would go. I even agreed. But first I had to get it stopped. Then (like our mother’s always warned us) if you go to the hospital you better wear clean clothes because you never know how long they’ll keep you there!! So I thought I must put on some clean clothes.

Here was a new looking pair of blue jeans in the middle of the pile and I was able to get them on with one hand. The other pinching my nose still. Same for a clean shirt. All set now. Grabbed the key fob and had the wife drive the Tacoma to the ER in case of another nose gusher.

Finally in a doctor’s examination room at the ER, she (the doctor) asked what happened. Told her the whole story beginning with just watching tv and my nose started to bleed like someone just blew the Hoover Dam. Told her about the bright red color and how much accumulated in the sink in such a short time the first occurrence. A little less the second, and then about the same the third time. All with no pain involved. She scolded me for not coming in right away, but admired my gauze packing job.

She could not find any damage to my nose. Blood pressure was pretty much normal. Gave me some strong nasal spray to sparingly use if it started to bleed again. The medicine would shrink everything up completely to stop the bleeding. Monday morning, I was to see my regular doctor for a follow up exam. She was adamant that I absolutely do not stand and admire the pool of blood accumulating in the sink again!! Get your butt back here at the start of another gusher!!

She did not notice my broken and patched up glasses. And I did not even think to tell her about the tractor incident that happened a whole week earlier. But on the way home from the ER, it dawned on me that that bang to the face had to have damaged some blood vessels in my sinuses. So I then told the wife about it and if the nose bleeds stop….there probably is no need for another doctor visit.

Now for “The Rest of the Story”!! Arriving back home, the wife parks my truck while I go inside. Once inside, she hands me my key fob. I grab it and put it in my left pants pocket…..and what’s this other thing in the pocket I hadn’t noticed at first? I pull out two key fobs in my hand!! The other is the long lost, but now found, missing original key fob.

(To this day, I could never figure out how or why that fob was in that pair of jeans in the middle of the pile. Did I leave it in the pocket and put the jeans back in the middle of the pile? Had it gone through the wash? (The wife seldom checks my pockets, even though she says she never fails to.) Checked to see if it still worked, the fob worked just fine.)

Monday (the VERY NEXT DAY) the mail brings the new fob I ordered a week prior! As we’re programming it, I’m telling the story to my locksmith buddy about how it was found, where, and why!! We could hardly stop laughing. The mystery of the lost fob’s location was finally solved, at least partially. Why it was in that pants pocket, in the middle of a pile of blue jeans, in the closet, still remains an unsolved mystery!!

Maybe it was a way for my mother to prank me and send a “Hello” from the “other side” while again reminding me to always wear clean clothes when I go to the hospital!! And at the same time, to show me where I had left my key fob!! I’d like to think that’s the reason!

FYI: I did not make a follow up appointment with the regular doctor. And I have not had another nose bleed since.

 

[jaxs]

I almost skipped reading the remainder when things turned gory but now I'm glad I finished because your mother's visit from the other side lifted my spirits. Mom was kind and forgiving but she had no sense of humor when it came to my underwear. Like your mom she always warned me to wear clean underwear in case I was in an accident and went to the hospital. One day I told her it wouldn't matter because if I were in an accident I'd probably crap my pants anyhow,,,,,when I was finally able to get my eyes focused I was on my back looking at the ceiling.

 

[ve9aa]

GR8 story.

No way I'd even try to top it

 

[The Evil Twin]

The one burning question I have, and you never addressed, is did you ever put the loader back down?!?

 

[fried1765]

Here’s where things went afoul. I think something fell out of my top shirt pocket and I stooped down to pick it up from just under tractor’s front end. When I stood up, I pivoted around back towards the tractor’s front again and…..WHAM!! My lights went out! Something had clobbered me on the right side of my face. I dropped to my knees in a daze. It seemed like just a few seconds later, but it could have been longer, when I thought: You idiot, you left the loader up in the air. This is not going to turn out well, at all!! Keep calm and assess the situation. Keep your eyes closed until you find your glasses to make sure of no broken splinters or anything else stuck in your face.

Feeling with my right hand I found no glasses on my face. No blood seemed to be gushing from any gash on my right side of the head. All my teeth seemed to be in place. The shock and pain had now subsided when I felt something touching my left cheek & neck. My glasses were now dangling from my left ear. No right bow on them, but the lenses were intact. You lucky dude, you may have just dodged a bullet!!

I opened my eyes and could see!! Whew! My glasses were old and needed replacing anyway. But I’d surely be getting a big “shiner” that would need explanation. I robbed a non-matching bow from an old pair of glasses and cobbled it onto the broken pair of glasses. It’s tough to see both sides of the glasses at the same time anyway so mismatched bows shouldn’t be a big deal. Off to look in a mirror to inspect the certain black eye and all the bruising.

Surprise! There was no black eye. In fact, not a scratch or blemish to be found. How could that be?? Then no explanation to the wife needed either!! So thankful that everything would be back to normal now! Over the next 4 days I completely forgot about the tractor incident. And why would I tell anyone about it anyway!! And the new key fob should get here in just a few more days, too.

Then at noon while taking a break, sitting in a chair watching tv, I thought I must be getting a cold as I could tell my nose/sinus was starting to drain a little into the back of my throat. Oh, well. But it started to drain more and more. Then it seemed to be getting quite warm. What the heck?? It turned out to be blood

Suddenly, it was a lot of blood! Too much blood!! I about drowned while rushing to the bathroom. Good thing the wife was not home!! With head over the sink, the blood was coming out almost as fast as one can say drip, drip, drip, drip, drip…. After a bit, I closed the sink stopper and was admiring the prettiest bright red blood accumulating. Remembering high school biology, I deduced it had to be oxygenated blood right from the heart/lungs as it was so bright red. How cool was this!! There was also now at least 3 or four cupfuls in the sink at minimum.

Oh, oh! Maybe I had better try stop the flow before I pass out on the floor and bleed out? Then the wife would certainly be pissed at the mess. Packing the nose with gauze and pinching the top for half an hour seemed to have it stopped. Whew! I cleaned up the blood trail, hid the evidence, and thought it’d be pertinent to take it easy the rest of the day.

That evening, it happened again. The wife, (now home) said “We’re going to the ER!” I replied, “This is nothing compared to the noon gusher. I could have sailed a boat on the red sea in the bathroom sink! I’ll get it under control again and we’ll see how it goes tomorrow (Sunday)”.

Sunday afternoon, to a lesser degree again, it started to bleed. Not profusely, but steadily. So off to the ER we would go. I even agreed. But first I had to get it stopped. Then (like our mother’s always warned us) if you go to the hospital you better wear clean clothes because you never know how long they’ll keep you there!! So I thought I must put on some clean clothes.

Here was a new looking pair of blue jeans in the middle of the pile and I was able to get them on with one hand. The other pinching my nose still. Same for a clean shirt. All set now. Grabbed the key fob and had the wife drive the Tacoma to the ER in case of another nose gusher.

Finally in a doctor’s examination room at the ER, she (the doctor) asked what happened. Told her the whole story beginning with just watching tv and my nose started to bleed like someone just blew the Hoover Dam. Told her about the bright red color and how much accumulated in the sink in such a short time the first occurrence. A little less the second, and then about the same the third time. All with no pain involved. She scolded me for not coming in right away, but admired my gauze packing job.

She could not find any damage to my nose. Blood pressure was pretty much normal. Gave me some strong nasal spray to sparingly use if it started to bleed again. The medicine would shrink everything up completely to stop the bleeding. Monday morning, I was to see my regular doctor for a follow up exam. She was adamant that I absolutely do not stand and admire the pool of blood accumulating in the sink again!! Get your butt back here at the start of another gusher!!

She did not notice my broken and patched up glasses. And I did not even think to tell her about the tractor incident that happened a whole week earlier. But on the way home from the ER, it dawned on me that that bang to the face had to have damaged some blood vessels in my sinuses. So I then told the wife about it and if the nose bleeds stop….there probably is no need for another doctor visit.

Now for “The Rest of the Story”!! Arriving back home, the wife parks my truck while I go inside. Once inside, she hands me my key fob. I grab it and put it in my left pants pocket…..and what’s this other thing in the pocket I hadn’t noticed at first? I pull out two key fobs in my hand!! The other is the long lost, but now found, missing original key fob.

(To this day, I could never figure out how or why that fob was in that pair of jeans in the middle of the pile. Did I leave it in the pocket and put the jeans back in the middle of the pile? Had it gone through the wash? (The wife seldom checks my pockets, even though she says she never fails to.) Checked to see if it still worked, the fob worked just fine.)

Monday (the VERY NEXT DAY) the mail brings the new fob I ordered a week prior! As we’re programming it, I’m telling the story to my locksmith buddy about how it was found, where, and why!! We could hardly stop laughing. The mystery of the lost fob’s location was finally solved, at least partially. Why it was in that pants pocket, in the middle of a pile of blue jeans, in the closet, still remains an unsolved mystery!!

Maybe it was a way for my mother to prank me and send a “Hello” from the “other side” while again reminding me to always wear clean clothes when I go to the hospital!! And at the same time, to show me where I had left my key fob!! I’d like to think that’s the reason!

FYI: I did not make a follow up appointment with the regular doctor. And I have not had another nose bleed since.

Fantastic story!
Thanks for sharing!

 

[Daren Todd]

Wife and I went to the laundry mat for the first time in years this past weekend.

Everything is finished and dried. We are folding everything. Get down to the last of the socks and realize we are missing one sock. It's Adidas brand, white with two black stripes on top.

So last night, I get home. Walk the pooch. Then grab a fresh pair of cargo shorts from the closet.

That's when I notice the pocket feels exceptionally poofy

I reach into the pocket and pull out my wife's missing sock

Apparently it some how got worked into the pocket of my shorts while in the washer

 

[bird dogger]

I almost skipped reading the remainder when things turned gory but now I'm glad I finished because your mother's visit from the other side lifted my spirits. Mom was kind and forgiving but she had no sense of humor when it came to my underwear. Like your mom she always warned me to wear clean underwear in case I was in an accident and went to the hospital. One day I told her it wouldn't matter because if I were in an accident I'd probably crap my pants anyhow,,,,,when I was finally able to get my eyes focused I was on my back looking at the ceiling.

Hey jaxs, glad you held out to the end!! It must have been a standard response from all mother's back in those days. We kids also got the same lecture whether we were going to the school nurse for the polio shots, the dentist, or just to visit someone in the hospital. Even if we'd just taken our Saturday night bath the night before....clean underwear and clothes 'cuz we are going to visit gramps in the nursing home!!! Like your's, my arguments didn't hold up well either. Our mother's likely had a tough time to keep from laughing at some of our reasoning?? Betting our mother's would've been good friends had they known each other!!
David

GR8 story.

No way I'd even try to top it

Fantastic story!
Thanks for sharing!

Thanks @ve9aa and @fried1765

We all do stuped things at times....at least some of us. LOL!!
This dumb move on my part probably made me a top contender for.... and only by sheer luck did I not actually get nominated for the "Darwin Award".

I'm just hoping this is as close as I"ll ever get to another nomination!!

David

 

[bird dogger]

The one burning question I have, and you never addressed, is did you ever put the loader back down?!?

Yes!! And every time I now grease the loader, I immediately lower it to the ground. This lesson was indellibly burned into my memory!!

 

[GSD-Keegan]

Ok. Here’s mine

i have a habit of taking two sets of keys if I go on a trip….in case I lose a set. Head out to the cottage in the winter time to do some snowmobiling. When we arrive, snow shoveling and blowing needs to be done to reach the cottage door from the driveway. Get the blower out of the trailer and get to work blowing snow. Cleared a path to the door, unlocked it with set of keys from jacket pocket, let wife and dogs in to start unpacking. I continue blowing snow. Next day can’t find either set of keys. Process of elimination led me to believe they were in snow. Got out a yard rake to rake the piles of snow. Passerbys gave me quite a look seeing me rake snow. Found both sets in different locations that had gone thru the blower….and both truck remotes still working to this day.

 

[rc51stierhoff]

I don’t think I can top it…and not keys…but I ‘lost’ my beloved Zeiss Victory binocs…not cheap to say the least.

Anyway I was on a camping trip getting ready to head for home and for some unknown reason I told spousal unit to put them in the bucket as no one would take that (poop bucket, literally but it gets lined with a bag) and put in the back of the truck…never thought about it or unpacked them when I got home. Put the bucket in the barn…anyway I never saw them again and I turned house vehicle everything upside looking for them before a hunting trip…I came to terms with losing them..I was sick. Fast forward the next year on camping trip…pinching a loaf on the last leg driving to our other place, and I hurried as fast as I could to get the bucket out and holy shit, theres my binocs. I could not help but laugh. I have had a shitty outlook ever since.

 

[D2Cat]

I was helping a friend do some dirt work at his residence. He was spreading some dirt with his D4 Cat. At the end of the day he didn't have his phone. It was a flip phone with Sprint service. We walked and walked and walked looking for that phone. The next Spring he was doing some work with a shovel and found his phone. He said it was about 4" deep. The battery was dead but he got the phone working again. He was pretty sure that phone had been ran over with his machine a few times as much as he was in the area.

 

[bird dogger]

I don’t think I can top it…and not keys…but I ‘lost’ my beloved Zeiss Victory binocs…not cheap to say the least.

Anyway I was on a camping trip getting ready to head for home and for some unknown reason I told spousal unit to put them in the bucket as no one would take that (poop bucket, literally but it gets lined with a bag) and put in the back of the truck…never thought about it or unpacked them when I got home. Put the bucket in the barn…anyway I never saw them again and I turned house vehicle everything upside looking for them before a hunting trip…I came to terms with losing them..I was sick. Fast forward the next year on camping trip…pinching a loaf on the last leg driving to our other place, and I hurried as fast as I could to get the bucket out and holy shit, theres my binocs. I could not help but laugh. I have had a shitty outlook ever since.

Those Carl Zeiss optics are super nice! I have an older mint shape Carl Zeiss 8 x 30b monocular. Can't beat the clarity of the glass. (Well, maybe with a really high priced pair of optics). But snagged this one on online auction for $60 years ago. Nice and compact to slip the case in a jacket pocket, etc. Perfect and compact to take along on any trip.

 

[rc51stierhoff]

Those Carl Zeiss optics are super nice! I have an older mint shape Carl Zeiss 8 x 30b monocular. Can't beat the clarity of the glass. (Well, maybe with a really high priced pair of optics). But snagged this one on online auction for $60 years ago. Nice and compact to slip the case in a jacket pocket, etc. Perfect and compact to take along on any trip.

Good glass is good glass…doesn’t matter the age either…just don’t forget it if you hide em where you park your ass, like I did.

Seriously though, IMO Zeiss is really good glass. I have a pair of binocs ‘donated’ by a person back in the 40s manufactured before the company was split as result of the war. They look a little rough, but work extremely well. Believe it or not Zeiss keeps records and can tell you some history of what you have and where manufactured (original company or the split company and location which side of the wall)…I contacted them when I was gifted these and surprised Zeiss shared some history. I was shocked by that. I since have two modern pairs victory binocs as well as a victory high powered spotting scope. Even the antiques are still really good glass by todays standards.

 

[trial and error]

You win @bird dogger, I hit my head more times then I care to admit, most of the time not resulting in blood but several times a year it does, comes with being 6'3-4"
Worst key story is when I dropped one of my truck keys which also had my house keys and some work keys on it down a storm drain at west point as I exited the truck. Didnt involve losing them per. say I knew exactly where they where. just had no feasible way to ever see them again. Like others have mentioned I always carry the spare and leave it in the cup holder for instances like that but I'm super careful around storm drains now.
Second was when mowing and the wife and I spent the a considerable amount of time finding the keys that where in my pocket when I started, we found that set but it was a pretty stressful hour looking. Qnd she got to feed me some humble pie.
And lastly I had my phone slide out of my back pocket unbeknownst to me while on the same mower we looked everywhere, every inch of the yard, and finally something made me flip the seat up and there it was between the engine and the "frame" on the zero turn whew

 

[GSD-Keegan]

Seems phones were brought up……wife and I were snowmobiling with a group. At a random spot in a forest, we stopped for a break… wife and her female friend departed from the boys to find a secluded spot to squat and eliminate the morning coffee. During the undressing and opening the rear trap door, wife lost her cell phone..unbeknownst to her. A while later noticed it missing and we returned to no avail. However, in the spring, another person found the phone, managed to turn it on, and contacted her to retrieve it. I was amazed it turned on !!

 

[jaxs]

Granddad had one of if not the most worthless dogs that ever lived. Sucked eggs, chased livestock,incesnant night time howeling and barking, growl and snap at small children,lay on poarch sleeping while coons ravage vegetable garden. Any other owner would have gave it lead poison but Gramps was . a softie as you will witness at the end of story. Gramps needed something from a town over 40 miles away so he hauled the dog and kick it out just outside of town. When Gramps passed the drop off point 30 minutes later on the way home the dog was nowhere to be seen. "Good,he wasn't run over and likly already found a new home" Gramps thought to himself. When he started up the lane to his house "WTH"!!!! the dog came to greet him. I told you earlier what a softie Gramps was, he figured if the dog was that determined he would just allow him to live out his days on the farm. Tale didn't wash down at the feed store or coffee shop so Gramps was the butt of some jokes. I saw a story on tv recently about a dog reunited with a family after going missing 300 miles away on vacation years earlier. If any of you see Gramps in the hereafter before I do you have permission to tell him how the dog beat him back home. My brother and I went into town and obviously left before Gramps. The old dog sitting by the road caught both our eyes and about the time time I said "that looks like Sot" my brother looked in the rearview mirror and saw the dog chasing us. Brother pulled over, poked his head out and yelled "Sot you old SOB whth are you doing off down here. The dog sailed in bed of truck and let wind flap his ears all the way to our house where he leaped out and headed home less than a mile away.

 

[GrizBota]

Hey @bird dogger, could you do me favor? Check your pile of washed jeans for the key and fob to my Tundra? I lost the set about a decade ago. Kinda did the same thing you did looking for them. But they are gone! Maybe rehomed in your closet.

 

[GrizBota]

Since it’s story time, and I’m not that good of a story teller.

One day over 25 years ago I was putting in a new t post wire fence along the driveway. It was a Saturday. Wife was gone. Anyways, I’m about halfway up the driveway, so no one can see me from the county road. I’m doing my thing, sliding the t post driver up and sailing it down, mostly letting go before the whack at the end that sets the t post a little further in the ground with each cycle. I’d done this many times before, no problem, I’m an old pro. I’ve got a routine going and I’m building fence.

So as the t post goes in ever deeper the ground, it become easier for a short guy to make the cycle and really slam it home. I’m giving ‘er hell and damn it I don’t over stroke the t post driver. So as I go up, the driver slides off the top of the post, not by much, maybe an inch or two. But I’ve got a vicious rhythm going and that driver is headed back down. But it doesn’t slide over the t post. Nope it catches on the top of the post and as I’m slamming it home, and since the bottom of the driver has now hit the top of the post, rather than slide over the t post, the top of the post driver swings down and hits me on the top of the head all the while I’m pulling it down it like bell ringer on Sunday.

It knocked me clean the frick out. Don’t know how long. Might have been 30 seconds or 20 minutes. When I came to, the last thing I recalled seeing was stars in a black sky. It was broad daylight when I did this and I’m laying on my back looking at the clear blue sky. So I figured out what had happen and that I’d knock my fool self out. Then I realized my head hurt. A lot. So as I laid there I realized my head really hurt right on the top, where the point would be if I were an electrical engineer. As I contemplated the matter, I realized my glasses and ball cap were no longer on my head. Thinking a bit more, I realized I’d hit myself on the damn head with the post driver right on the metal button of the ball cap. So it was a high stress point right where my head really hurt. I gingerly put my hand to my head, extended the index finger and checked to see if I had an extra hole in my head. Relived to find out that nope, no extra holes and no fluid leaking out. So the next order of business was to gingerly wave my hands around on the ground and find my glasses. Relived, I found them shortly, as I can’t see worth a damn without them. I found my hat, put it on my head, making sure the metal button didn’t nestle down in the new depression in the top of my scalp and got back to work.

As I appreciated my new found headache, I sort of laughed to myself, glad my wife hadn’t come home and found me sleeping on the job. And you know what? I didn’t over stroke another post. Still haven’t and don’t intend to.

That’s one of several fence stories locked up in the gray matter. The good old days. Electric fences, teenage brothers and a pitch fork, what could possibly go wrong…

 

[D2Cat]

Since it’s story time, and I’m not that good of a story teller.

One day over 25 years ago I was putting in a new t post wire fence along the driveway. It was a Saturday. Wife was gone. Anyways, I’m about halfway up the driveway, so no one can see me from the county road. I’m doing my thing, sliding the t post driver up and sailing it down, mostly letting go before the whack at the end that sets the t post a little further in the ground with each cycle. I’d done this many times before, no problem, I’m an old pro. I’ve got a routine going and I’m building fence.

So as the t post goes in ever deeper the ground, it become easier for a short guy to make the cycle and really slam it home. I’m giving ‘er hell and damn it I don’t over stroke the t post driver. So as I go up, the driver slides off the top of the post, not by much, maybe an inch or two. But I’ve got a vicious rhythm going and that driver is headed back down. But it doesn’t slide over the t post. Nope it catches on the top of the post and as I’m slamming it home, and since the bottom of the driver has now hit the top of the post, rather than slide over the t post, the top of the post driver swings down and hits me on the top of the head all the while I’m pulling it down it like bell ringer on Sunday.

It knocked me clean the frick out. Don’t know how long. Might have been 30 seconds or 20 minutes. When I came to, the last thing I recalled seeing was stars in a black sky. It was broad daylight when I did this and I’m laying on my back looking at the clear blue sky. So I figured out what had happen and that I’d knock my fool self out. Then I realized my head hurt. A lot. So as I laid there I realized my head really hurt right on the top, where the point would be if I were an electrical engineer. As I contemplated the matter, I realized my glasses and ball cap were no longer on my head. Thinking a bit more, I realized I’d hit myself on the damn head with the post driver right on the metal button of the ball cap. So it was a high stress point right where my head really hurt. I gingerly put my hand to my head, extended the index finger and checked to see if I had an extra hole in my head. Relived to find out that nope, no extra holes and no fluid leaking out. So the next order of business was to gingerly wave my hands around on the ground and find my glasses. Relived, I found them shortly, as I can’t see worth a damn without them. I found my hat, put it on my head, making sure the metal button didn’t nestle down in the new depression in the top of my scalp and got back to work.

As I appreciated my new found headache, I sort of laughed to myself, glad my wife hadn’t come home and found me sleeping on the job. And you know what? I didn’t over stroke another post. Still haven’t and don’t intend to.

That’s one of several fence stories locked up in the gray matter. The good old days. Electric fences, teenage brothers and a pitch fork, what could possibly go wrong…

I've done that a couple of times. I make my own post driver so I can make them extra long and then put heater hose on the handles (before the last bend is made and welded). I do all of this because I'm 6'-4" and those short store bought drivers don't work for me. So when this thing hits the top of the post on the down stroke and leans over to tap my head it's a "bell ringer". It creates a funny taste when your head gets hit that hard!!