"Hey Man...."

[skeets]

Reading this I am reminded of the old adage ,, A friend in need is a friend indeed,,,, The old man had a variance on it... A friend in need,,, is a pain in the ass ,,,, some times that is so true

 

[Tooljunkie]

I do enjoy helping people out. If i could work for free fixing cars for those that couldnt afford it i would. Problem is, it would only be a matter of minutes before someone would take advantage of my kindness.

I was installing remote starters for a dealer years ago. Discovered they were charging 4 times what they were paying me. I was giving them a break,as they werent making much on them. Lies.

Be up front with your friends,good ones and otherwise. Cant do it for nothing.They ask for help then they need to cough up,you offer help its on you.

 

[jajiu]

Lots of great stories out there and so familiar. I'm retired and all I get is "Well, you're retired, you must have time to help me do this." If anyone out there is retired, you find out that there isn't enough time in the day to do all your own stuff, let alone everyone else's stuff. Mostly it's family for me that is the problem. "Can you come over and help fix this or that?" I do get a thanks, but that's about it. It's tough being the big brother. By the way, I too do not lend out tools for the same reason everyone else has said, they come back broken or filthy. Skeets is right, "A friend in need IS a pain in the ass!"

 

[torch]

Funny, I find the opposite. I try to do someone a favour, as a friend, neighbour or relative, and they want to pay me for it. Hey, if you can afford to pay, then hire someone who needs the work!

 

[Stmar]

Why do I help people? Simple: When the time comes where I need something I am not hesitant to ask for help or to borrow something. For instance I have a neighbor that grazes his horses on my property, our horses got old and passed away and we decided not to replace them. When I need anything this guy is right there and he has every tool and gadget known to man, things I would use once a lifetime. He also welds and has done several repairs and enhancements on my tractors.

 

[Lil Foot]

Lots of great stories out there and so familiar. I'm retired and all I get is "Well, you're retired, you must have time to help me do this." If anyone out there is retired, you find out that there isn't enough time in the day to do all your own stuff, let alone everyone else's stuff. Mostly it's family for me that is the problem. "Can you come over and help fix this or that?" I do get a thanks, but that's about it. It's tough being the big brother. By the way, I too do not lend out tools for the same reason everyone else has said, they come back broken or filthy. Skeets is right, "A friend in need IS a pain in the ass!"

Sir we must live twin lives, I could not agree more.

 

[sdk1968]

I do enjoy helping people out. If i could work for free & help those that couldnt afford it i would.

Problem is, it would only be a matter of minutes before someone would take advantage of my kindness.

^^^ this is how my life works.

i've always helped anyone who asked anyway i could.... but after getting taken advantage of for decades & never getting any help in return when my health took a dump?

thats why my Wife put her foot down. Still help people, but my "circle of help" has gotten a lot smaller.


NOTE: internet/forum help doesnt cost me anything to share..
i'll help anyone online anyway possible with anything i can share.. guns, metal, shop, construction..

 

[Yooper]

I like helping people as much as the next guy. No problem with the ones who appreciate it. The key phrase we share is "Being taken advantage of". If only people were easily identified between those that do and those that don't would make it a different ballgame. But they are not, so you kind of shut down everybody.

 

[Bunker Buster]

i've always helped anyone who asked anyway i could.... but after getting taken advantage of for decades & never getting any help in return when my health took a dump?

thats why my Wife put her foot down. Still help people, but my "circle of help" has gotten a lot smaller.

This is me to a T. I've always helped anyone that asked. I work on anything with an engine, weld, fabricate, paint, etc... I'm always helping my wheeling "buddies" with something. Prior to back surgery they all said they would help anytime I or my wife needed something while recovering. Well, my circle shrunk to two people. Only two have been here to help mow, weed eat, or do general maintenance that I'm not able to do yet. Everyone else I ask always has some excuse or just doesn't show up.

 

[Lil Foot]

I like helping people as much as the next guy. No problem with the ones who appreciate it. The key phrase we share is "Being taken advantage of". If only people were easily identified between those that do and those that don't would make it a different ballgame. But they are not, so you kind of shut down everybody.

We must be twins separated at birth.
My wife & I help a lot of people, and sometimes people appreciate or reciprocate in one fashion or another, but I no longer have the words "Take advantage of me & abuse my generosity" tattooed across my forehead.

 

[CaveCreekRay]

My wife is like a junkyard dog when it comes to protecting me. So many times I have helped friends out and, other than a thanks, most never ever consider reciprocation. Even my own kid resents me for helping her out when she needed help, though she had no other choice at the time. Evidently, I "made her feel bad about herself." So I get the blame. Where did your self respect go? Oh... the Fakebook Friends say she doesn't need any of that because it gives others power over you. Really?

The problem in our society today is lack of gratitude. Few people are thankful. I say my thanks several times a day. I was raised by a depression era father who started with nothing and then his family rejected him at the age of 12. He rode the rails with his nine year-old brother in tow. As a young kid, that story resonated with me all my life and I knew how much worse it could be.

Envy is rampant. No one is thankful for what they have. If you have the capacity to help someone, its expected that you will. Yet there is no feeling of obligation for reciprocal assistance. I have bent over and helped friends who are multi-millionaires. One guy, who started out with nothing, takes me flying all the time. I buy him breakfast and he pays for the jet fuel. That's nice of him.

My sister was the epitome of a user. She'd drop the car off at my brother's house and go inside while he did the brakes. Then she'd come out and say, "Thanks! If there is anything I can ever do for you, just ask!" The reality is, there was almost nothing that she could do for anyone. It was a worthless offer but she loved to take advantage of my brother. He too finally quit doing her favors because she came to expect them.

Help those who truly need and appreciate your assistance. Everyone else can grow up first.

Sorry for the rant...

 

[Lil Foot]

Help those who truly need and appreciate your assistance. Everyone else can grow up first.

We must also be twins separated at birth.

 

[Tooljunkie]

Ray, i know a very well off gentleman,helped him with his aircraft a few times, fixed his truck when gm couldnt. Or wouldnt under warranty. Usually for free or very little which insulted him to no end. Im good friends with his daughter and son in law. Flew a few of us to his nice fishing lodge for 4 days.

My kid wont even hang out in shop when i fix her car. My time my parts. But i cant not do it. Safe and dependable.

 

[eddiebob]

When Diane and I were married many years ago I told her "Friends are a mutually beneficial relationship". She said you are an a**. Over time she realized what I meant. Our small town later needed help with the municipal water supply. Being a drilling engineer the mayor asked me to look at the well and a possible solution. I looked at the well schematic and said okay. He asked me what do we need to do? I told him the next step was to write me a check for 10k! I really didn't want to fool with it and it cost the city quite a bit more. Time is money especially as we get older so my freebies are only available to close friends. So is life....

 

[Yooper]

We must be twins separated at birth.
My wife & I help a lot of people, and sometimes people appreciate or reciprocate in one fashion or another, but I no longer have the words "Take advantage of me & abuse my generosity" tattooed across my forehead.

Tractors, lathes, a U.P. connection, and both had those tattoos on our foreheads removed. We just might be related.

 

[jajiu]

There is a lot of us out here that have similar stories. We ARE related thru circumstance. People today, especially the young folk, take no responsibility for their own actions, it is always someone else's fault, and the don't appreciate when someone helps them as they think it is "due them". Ray, that wasn't a rant, it is reality.

 

[lugbolt]

A Good Friend of mine: Hey man, we are having a our concrete patio enlarged. The Contractor wants to charge me $1200 to dig out the yard. Do you think you could help?

Me: Sure, no problem. When?

A Good Friend of mine: Saturday.

Me: I'll see you then.

I proceed to bring a $55,000 truck pulling a $5,000 trailer, with a $22,000 tractor loaded in it. Along with that, I have a $450 lazer, pipe glue, rakes shovels, fabric, and $1500 Compactor. We work 12hrs. We export 10 yards of material (which I took but did not want) and imported 1 yard of drain rock. I haul and do most of everything to include grading the yard, and installing a new french drain. All said and done have about 100 miles on the truck and 7 hours on the machine.

As I finishing binding the tractor down in the trailer and getting ensured that it is ready for haul out, I get a hand shake and a "thanks Man. I really appreciate it."

As I left driving down the road, I reflected on a few things in life.

1. I am Generally a helper. helping people brings me self worth and joy.
2. People dont understand the true costs of what I bring to the table (even with the small scale stuff that I have.)
3. There are damn few people that help me in return like I help others. (I am famous for constantly working on my rentals and being the guy to call if you need help, have construction related questions, or seek real estate advice.)
4. I am as of this moment, no longer free.

We share those traits. Item number 1 is the second reason I continue to work on tractors. The first reason is that I feel like it's the only God-given talent that I have, and it's not a perfect talent.