Hadda good chuckle, today...

Diydave

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Gambrills, MD USA
Md has some weird laws. One of the weirdest, IMHO, is the critical areas law. In a nutshell, you are not supposed to disturb land within 1,000 feet of a waterway. Was pulling some trees out of an old dirt pile, generally cleaning up at a property, that the owner's father used as his home and construction yard. Back then nobody gave a hoot what you did on your own land. (Oh for the good ole days...)

Anyway, was pulling out trees with the ASV and grapple bucket, and generally taking the weeds, briers and tree debris, and hauling it a hundred feet further back, into the woods, to improve the look of the place so the owner can sell it easier... She was picking wood scrap and bricks, rocks and concrete chunks out and throwing it in a pile, so I had to keep an eye on her, as I worked. I see this geeky lookin guy come over, and I can't hear it, but I know an argument when I see one...

Didn't ask right away, then I see this geek takin video with his phone, so I knew what the hub-bub was about. He was claiming that I was disturbing a bog... Anyway, finished up, got paid, and I asked about the argument... She said he was making trouble, and it kinda concerned her. I told her, that the stream in the back really wasn't anything but an intermittent wash, from the neighborhood, behind her. I even went home and got on the critical area site,not even close, by about a half a mile maybe a mile...

Some people are just AH's. Good thing he didn't think to get a video of my truck, as I had parked it over on the other side of the property, behind the house, and a hill... I wasn't born yesterday...:D:D
 

Daren Todd

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We dealt with some folks like that years ago in vermont. Gramps had some beavers move in and take over a portion of some property he was gonna put on the market. Had to get rid of the beavers first though :rolleyes:

He had a trapper go in and "relocate" the beavers :rolleyes: That was his response to the tree huggers that lived on the hill overlooking the pond when they complained about the trapper.

After the damn was deemed "beaver free", he had a friend go in and blow the damn. They got all the permits so everything was legal. The only issue was, they had just come out with c4, and the guy wasn't too sure on his calculations on how much to use :D

Well gramps friend over did it a little bit on the charges :rolleyes: So we're sitting on the side of the field, about five hundred yards from the damn. He hit the detonator, and that damn went around 100 feet or so into the air :eek::p We all ended up under dad's 1 ton dump truck right after he touched it off. It was raining mud rocks and tree's for about a 300 yard radius.

We should have framed all the letters to the editor on that adventure :D:D
 

85Hokie

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Never fails.....

I have had my share of doing the right thing and the right thing gets looked at as NOT doing the right thing!

quote a line from a song : blake shelton

https://youtu.be/PJe754cLbok?t=3m20s
 

Tooljunkie

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We dealt with some folks like that years ago in vermont. Gramps had some beavers move in and take over a portion of some property he was gonna put on the market. Had to get rid of the beavers first though :rolleyes:

He had a trapper go in and "relocate" the beavers :rolleyes: That was his response to the tree huggers that lived on the hill overlooking the pond when they complained about the trapper.

After the damn was deemed "beaver free", he had a friend go in and blow the damn. They got all the permits so everything was legal. The only issue was, they had just come out with c4, and the guy wasn't too sure on his calculations on how much to use :D

Well gramps friend over did it a little bit on the charges :rolleyes: So we're sitting on the side of the field, about five hundred yards from the damn. He hit the detonator, and that damn went around 100 feet or so into the air :eek::p We all ended up under dad's 1 ton dump truck right after he touched it off. It was raining mud rocks and tree's for about a 300 yard radius.

We should have framed all the letters to the editor on that adventure :D:D

My buddy used to blast for the municapality. We called it recreational blasting.
Beaver control is a mainstay for a couple guys around here. The local government pays a bounty for them.

The department of fisheries and oceans are a powerful entity, i wouldnt want to get in their bad books.
 

Diydave

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STATE OF MICHIGAN
Reply to: GRAND RAPIDS DISTRICT OFFICE STATE OFFICE BUILDING 6TH FLOOR
350 OTTAWA NW GRAND RAPIDS MI 49503-2341
JOHN ENGLER, Governor
DEPARTMENT OF ENVIRONMENTAL QUALITY
HOLLISTER BUILDING, PO BOX 30473, LANSING MI 48909-7973
INTERNET: http://www.deq.state.mi
RUSSELL J. HARDING, Director

December 17, 1997

CERTIFIED

Mr. Ryan DeVries 2088 Dagget Pierson, MI 49339

Dear Mr. DeVries:

SUBJECT: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023-1 T11N, R10W, Sec. 20, Montcalm County

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued.

Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris dams and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all unauthorized activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the strewn channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 1998. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request, or any further unauthorized activity on the site, may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price
District Representative Land and Water Management Division

Dear Mr. Price:
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N, R10W, Sec 20; Montcalm County

Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to. You sent out a great deal of carbon copies to a lot of people, but you neglected to include their addresses. You will, therefore, have to send them a copy of my response.

First of all, Mr. Ryan DeVries is not the legal landowner and/or contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan — I am the legal owner and a couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, nor authorize, their dam project, I think they would be highly offended you call their skillful use of natural building materials "debris." I would like to challenge you to attempt to emulate their dam project any dam time and/or any dam place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no dam way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

As to your dam request the beavers first must fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity, my first dam question to you is: are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or do you require all dam beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, please send me completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws annotated.

My first concern is — aren't the dam beavers entitled to dam legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said dam representation — so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing dam flooding is proof we should leave the dam Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names. If you want the dam stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition — contact the dam beavers — but if you are going to arrest them (they obviously did not pay any dam attention to your dam letter-being unable to read English) — be sure you read them their dam Miranda rights first.

As for me, I am not going to cause more dam flooding or dam debris jams by interfering with these dam builders. If you want to hurt these dam beavers — be aware I am sending a copy of your dam letter and this response to PETA. If your dam Department seriously finds all dams of this nature inherently hazardous and truly will not permit their existence in this dam State — I seriously hope you are not selectively enforcing this dam policy, or once again both I and the Spring Pond Beavers will scream prejudice!

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their dam unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green, and water flows downstream. They have more dam right than I to live and enjoy Spring Pond. So, as far as I and the beavers are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more dam elevated enforcement action now. Why wait until 1/31/98? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then, and there will be no dam way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then. In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem: bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the dam beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears are not careful where they dump!) Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

Sincerely,
Stephen L. Tvedten :D:D
 

85Hokie

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I am positive that I have never seen the dam word dam mentioned so many dam times in one dam time in my dam life:D:)......I am still laughing - wish I could write something like that to the higher ups in education that "think" they know anything about Edjamacation.