Daily Chuckle

[AndyM]

In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual legal liability label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost."(But, it's "just" a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down."(Well... .Duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating."(... And you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body."(But wouldn't this save me more time?)

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to Reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And... I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."(As opposed to... what?)

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use."(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh... fly Delta?)

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."

On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals." (... Was there lot of this happening somewhere?)

My new microwave has a helpful "Insert Food" message.

 

[Toyboy]

I guess you never saw the movie "Silence of the Lambs"? That is a pic of the villain "Buffalo Bill" who was skinning women to make a full skin for him to wear as a woman. He had the one girl imprisoned in his well (hence the joke on the second pic) and said to her "it puts the f'n lotion in the basket" after she had applied it to her skin at his request. He wanted to keep her skin in good shape so that he could wear it after he skinned her.

There was another sickening scene just before it where he was trying on his skin dress, tucked himself and made a really funny comment to himself while looking in the mirror.

And you consider that humor.....

 

[Gaspasser]

Were you bombed when you ordered this?

 

[bmblank]

Nope sorry never saw it, but those kinds of movies dont appeal to me anyways thanks for explaining it

It's actually a fantastic movie. It's not a horror movie or anything, not focused on gore or any of that. Though, I suppose there's a point where Anthony Hopkins attacks his jailers and it's pretty bloody. It really makes your mind paint the weird pictures they're trying to convey. I guess it would probably fall under "psychological thriller" genre.

You look at Anthony Hopkins... How can he play somebody like Burt Munro in The Worlds Fastest Indian, where he feels like a beloved grandpa or something, and then in another movie he plays Hannibal the Cannibal and truly scares people watching the movie. That dude's good at what he does.

 

[dirtydeed]

And you consider that humor.....

There's a little more to the story as to why I consider it humorous. But based on your statement it really isn't worth explaining to you.

 

[dirtydeed]

 

[DaOtherOne]

 

[Toyboy]

There's a little more to the story as to why I consider it humorous. But based on your statement it really isn't worth explaining to you.

I appreciate that

 

[Old_Paint]

6' down, that's why I bought my BX23S, At 6' coyotes can't smell the corpses.

Even simpler. Bury the body vertical (standing up) and place an endangered species plant on the dig site. Bob's yer uncle.

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[skeets]

 

[skeets]

View attachment 169913

An you gona like it I garrrontee

 

[North Idaho Wolfman]

View attachment 169914

Oh, you have them in your parts too.
We have them all over the place here they are getting a little annoying trying to miss them with the truck.

 

[D2Cat]

 

[Daren Todd]

Oh, you have them in your parts too.
We have them all over the place here they are getting a little annoying trying to miss them with the truck.

I've been dealing with that squirrel from the auto insurance commercials. He runs out in the road in front of oncoming cars trying to get them to wreck

 

[Old_Paint]

I've been dealing with that squirrel from the auto insurance commercials. He runs out in the road in front of oncoming cars trying to get them to wreck

I officially declared war on chipmunks about 15 years ago. It's going about as well as some other wars. They are PERSISTENT!

 

[JimDeL]

I officially declared war on chipmunks about 15 years ago. It's going about as well as some other wars. They are PERSISTENT!

Persistent is an under-statement! Been fighting the little bastards (unsuccessfully) for years.
Best method so far is rat traps, using sunflower deeds super-glued to the trigger. Got 25 or so last Summer.

The foot deep snow hasn't completely thawed yet, but we already saw the first chipmunk a couple days ago.

 

[dirtydeed]

 

[Tughill Tom]