Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

Amish people don't usually say any more than necessary and of course these two meet on the road in their horse and buggy outfits . their conversation goes like this.

whoa.
whoa.
what did you give your horse when it was sick?
turpentine.
giddy up.
giddy up

the next day in the same spot in the road about the same time they meet again. same conversation.
whoa.
whoa.
what did you give your horse when it was sick?
turpentine.
giddy up.
giddy up.

the third day same time same place they meet again. conversation goes like this.

whoa.
whoa.
what did you give your horse when it was sick?
turpentine.
turpentine killed my horse.
killed my horse too.
giddy up.
giddy up.

 

[Fordtech86]

 

[i7win7]

Looks like shotgun season has started

 

[Old_Paint]

View attachment 69839

Hope the 'master key' (bolt cutters) isn't behind that door.

 

[Magicman]

George Carlin's Views on Aging:

Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to get old is when we're kids? If you're less
than 10 years old, you're so excited about aging that you think in fractions.

'How old are you?' 'I'm four and a half!' You're never thirty-six and a half.. You're four and a half, going on five! That's the key.

You get into your teens, now they can't hold you back. You jump to the next number, or even a few ahead.

'How old are you?' 'I'm gonna be 16!' You could be 13, but hey, you're gonna be 16! And then the>greatest day of your life ... . You become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony: YOU BECOME 21.YESSSS!!!

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you sound like bad milk!
He TURNED; we had to throw him out. There's no fun now, you're just a sour-dumpling. What's wrong? What's changed?

You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you're PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it's all slipping away.

Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!!
You MAKE it to 60. You didn't think you would!

So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.

You've built up so much speed that you HIT 70!
After that it's a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!

You get into your 80's and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30 ;you REACH bedtime. And it doesn't end there. Into the 90s, you start going backwards:
'I Was JUST 92.'

Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again.
'I'm 100 and a half!'

May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

 

[Magicman]

HOW TO STAY YOUNG:
1.Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height.
Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay 'them.'
2..Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.
3. Keep learning. Learn more a bout the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever. Never let the brain idle. 'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.' And the devil's name is Alzheimer's.
4. Enjoy the simple things.
5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves. Be ALIVE while you are alive.
7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies,
whatever. Your home is your refuge .
8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
9. Don't take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.
10.Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
AND ALWAYS REMEMBER:
Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

 

[i7win7]

Movin' in style

 

[i7win7]

New style mountain bike with flat free tires

 

[i7win7]

Are Texans armed to protect their boots from thieves or hecklers?

 

[bmblank]

I actually know of a guy who wears those tennis-boots un-ironically. He has a convertible ford bronco with large steer horns on the front and painted with the American flag. This is Northern Michigan, mind you... Handlebar moustache, big bushy beard.

His name?

Kowboy...




I sh1t you not.
Super nice guy, though. A real character, if you can imagine that.

 

[i7win7]

Doctor said I should get out and ride my bike more

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

just seems wrong

 

[Magicman]

A Cup of Tea ~

One day my mother was out, and my dad was in charge of me and my little sister.

She was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given her a little 'tea set' as a gift, and it was one of her favorite toys.

Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when she brought him a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my mom came home.

My dad made her wait in the living room to watch my sister take him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' Mom waited, and sure enough, here she comes down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy; and she watched him drink it down.


Then she said, (as only a mother would know), "'Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water, is the toilet?"

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Bmyers]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Toyboy]

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving

--"Success" is when you look back at your life, and the memories make you smile.

*Anything posted is meant to be in good humor. Poster is not responsible for any therapy required to "get over it."

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]