Daily Chuckle

[Moose7060]

A bus stops and 2 Italian men get on.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first,
But her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the
following:

Emma come first.
Den I come.
Den two asses come together.
I come once-a-more! ..
Two asses, they come together again.
I come again and pee twice.
Then I come one lasta time'

The lady can't take this anymore,
"You foul- mouthed sex obsessed pig!"
She retorted indignantly.
'In this country, we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex
lives!"

'Hey, coola down lady,' said the man, 'Whooza talkin' abouta sex?
I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella " Mississippi !!"

$5.00 says you're gonna read this again!

 

[Magicman]

 

[RCW]

View attachment 127629

I think I know that guy, and he’s proof genetics works.

Probably learned that “trick” from his father!

 

[Daren Todd]

I think I know that guy, and he’s proof genetics works.

Probably learned that “trick” from his father!

Needs must

 

[Old_Paint]

I think I know that guy, and he’s proof genetics works.

Probably learned that “trick” from his father!

Yeah, but ya gotta give him reps for hitting a hardwood that many times with an axe. That's a BIG tree, never mind what appears to be white oak. I'd call him industrious, if not a bit unfamiliar with safety.

 

[Henro]

I think I know that guy, and he’s proof genetics works.

Probably learned that “trick” from his father!

Seems reasonable to me. The ax handle only counters the force the guy puts on the Jack handle, which is probably not more than a couple hundred pounds depending on his weight.

Learning that trick from his father probably is proof that genetics works.

If I were to advise him, though, I would suggest using a chainsaw and some falling wedges… but to each his on own…

 

[fried1765]

Seems reasonable to me. The ax handle only counters the force the guy puts on the Jack handle, which is probably not more than a couple hundred pounds depending on his weight.

Learning that trick from his father probably is proof that genetics works.

If I were to advise him, though, I would suggest using a chainsaw and some falling wedges… but to each his on own…

Perhaps he could not afford to buy a chain saw,......thus the axe.

 

[RCW]

Yeah, but ya gotta give him reps for hitting a hardwood that many times with an axe. That's a BIG tree, never mind what appears to be white oak. I'd call him industrious, if not a bit unfamiliar with safety.

True, “industrious” is a great term.

Actually large timber is commonly felled with the use of a bottle jack placed in a pocket cut into the tree. Never done it, but seen examples of it.

Floor jack is ingenious…use what you have and be ready to get out of the way real quick…

Hope that hinge is solid and the tree doesn’t do a pirouette on the stump.

 

[Magicman]

"Hello?"
"Hi honey this is Daddy. Is Mommy near the phone?"
"No Daddy. She's upstairs in the bedroom with Uncle Paul."
After a brief pause, Daddy says, "But honey, you haven't got an Uncle Paul."
"Oh yes I do, and he's upstairs in the bedroom with Mommy, right now."
Brief Pause.
"Uh, okay then, this is what I want you to do. Put the phone down on the table, run upstairs and knock on the bedroom door and shout to Mommy that Daddy's car just pulled into the driveway."
"Okay Daddy, just a minute."
A few minutes later the little girl comes back to the phone. "I did it Daddy."
"And what happened honey?" he asked.
"Well, Mommy got all scared, jumped out of bed with no clothes on and ran around screaming. Then she tripped over the rug, hit her head on the dresser and now she isn't moving at all!"
"Oh my God!!! What about your Uncle Paul?"
"He jumped out of the bed with no clothes on, too. He was all scared and he jumped out of the back window and into the swimming pool. But I guess he didn't know that you pumped out the water last week to clean it. He hit the bottom of the pool and I he isn't moving either."
***Long Pause***
***Longer Pause***
***Even Longer Pause***
Then Daddy says, "Swimming pool? Is this 486-5731?"

 

[skeets]

 

[Henro]

 

[Magicman]

This is the same guy that needed a wedge above:

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[dlsmith]

View attachment 127698

Took me a few seconds to figure that one out.

 

[DustyRusty]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]