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Magicman
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Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Hope this touches you the way it touched me!
GOODBYE MUM
image001.jpg
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around.
If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore, she kept staring at him.
image002.jpg
She finally overtook him at the checkout,and she turned to him and said,
"I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
She then said, "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out " Good bye, Mum" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him..
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine
into someone's day,
he went to pay for his groceries..
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk..
"How come so much? I only bought
5 items?"
The check-out lady replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."
Bet you thought this was going
to be a tear jerker.
Don't Trust Little Old Ladies!!!
GOODBYE MUM
image001.jpg
A young man shopping in a supermarket noticed a little old lady following him around.
If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore, she kept staring at him.
image002.jpg
She finally overtook him at the checkout,and she turned to him and said,
"I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease; it's just that you look so much like my late son."
He answered, "That's okay."
She then said, "I know it's silly, but if you'd call out " Good bye, Mum" as I leave the store, it would make me feel so happy."
She then went through the checkout, and as she was on her way out of the store, the man called out, "Goodbye, Mum."
The little old lady waved and smiled back at him..
Pleased that he had brought a little sunshine
into someone's day,
he went to pay for his groceries..
"That comes to $121.85," said the clerk..
"How come so much? I only bought
5 items?"
The check-out lady replied, "Yeah, but your Mother said you'd be paying for her things, too."
Bet you thought this was going
to be a tear jerker.
Don't Trust Little Old Ladies!!!
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Lost in translation
At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.
She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said,
"For sex sex, wan free sex, for tonight free."’
I replied, "Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!"
A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Don't get excited. What she said was:
466 136 4293!"
At a travel agency in Shanghai, I asked the Chinese girl behind the counter if she could escort me on a city tour and asked her for her mobile number so I could call her to make arrangements.
She gave me a big smile, nodded her head and said,
"For sex sex, wan free sex, for tonight free."’
I replied, "Wow, you Chinese women are really hospitable!"
A guy standing next to me overheard, tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Don't get excited. What she said was:
466 136 4293!"
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Lil Foot
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
The garlic thread reminded me of this incident.
My MIL eats at least a clove of garlic a week, sometimes more, and is convinced that garlic alone is the cure-all for all ailments, including aging.
While at the doctor's office with my wife for a physical , she told the doc about eating raw garlic every week. The doc said "Well, that's good for vampires."
Mom smugly turned to my wife and said "See, I told you so!"
My wife asked if she heard what he said. Mom, (who normally does not listen to anything the doc says) amazingly repeated "Well, that's good for vampires."
My wife says "Mom, there are no such things as vampires."
Mom slowly turned red, got very angry, but said nothing.
On the way home, she announced that she didn't like that smart-ass doctor anymore, and would not be going back to him for her next appointment.
My MIL eats at least a clove of garlic a week, sometimes more, and is convinced that garlic alone is the cure-all for all ailments, including aging.
While at the doctor's office with my wife for a physical , she told the doc about eating raw garlic every week. The doc said "Well, that's good for vampires."
Mom smugly turned to my wife and said "See, I told you so!"
My wife asked if she heard what he said. Mom, (who normally does not listen to anything the doc says) amazingly repeated "Well, that's good for vampires."
My wife says "Mom, there are no such things as vampires."
Mom slowly turned red, got very angry, but said nothing.
On the way home, she announced that she didn't like that smart-ass doctor anymore, and would not be going back to him for her next appointment.
North Idaho Wolfman
Moderator
Staff member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
L3450DT-GST, Woods FEL, B7100 HSD, FEL, 60" SB, 743 Bobcat with V2203, and more
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Been seeing commercials from the CDC about this pandemic saying at minimum wash your hands for at least the time it takes to sing the happy birthday song twice and don't touch your face.
Never being one to do the minimum, I figured I can do better than that.
I figured I would use soap and a scrub brush washing my hands longer.
I put Lynyrd Skynyrd's extended version of Free Bird on the stereo and started scrubbing until it was over.
I'm telling ya it worked like a charm. My hands are so raw I haven't been able to touch my face, or anything else, for the past couple of days.
Never being one to do the minimum, I figured I can do better than that.
I figured I would use soap and a scrub brush washing my hands longer.
I put Lynyrd Skynyrd's extended version of Free Bird on the stereo and started scrubbing until it was over.
I'm telling ya it worked like a charm. My hands are so raw I haven't been able to touch my face, or anything else, for the past couple of days.
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Many years ago a young man was drafted into the Army. He really did not want to go but packed up and reported for duty. At Boot Camp he was pretty much a model soldier except for one small problem. His platoon would be standing at attention during training and a piece of paper would blow across the parade deck and the young private would suddenly break ranks and run pick up the paper, read it and sadly shake his head and say "That ain't it". He would immediately return to his spot in ranks and resume the position of attention after sticking the paper in his pocket to dispose of later. The Lt noticed this happen several times and reported to the company commander. The captain watched a while and saw the same thing verifying the Lt's report so he talked to the Battalion commander who advised the man was crazy and they needed to discharge him on a section 8 discharge before he became violent and hurt someone. They rushed the paperwork through and the next morning at company formation they called his name and he reported front and center and the Captain handed him his discharge. The Private looked at the paper and a big smile broke out on his face and he said "That's it."