Daily Chuckle

[skeets]

Huh go figure..

 

[Fordtech86]

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[NHSleddog]

Bill Clinton was standing in front of the pearly gates waiting for his escort. He was a little surprised when the devil himself walked up and said "right this way Bill".

Bill was like "hell? what did I do to deserve this"?

Devil> Don't worry hell has gotten a bad rap, it really isn't bad at all. Tell me, do like alcohol?

Bill> Umm, yeah, I like alcohol.

Devil> Well you are going to LOVE Mondays. We drink all day and all night. No hang-overs ever!

Devil> Do you like to smoke?

Bill> Sure I like a good cigar every now and them.

Devil, well you are going to love Tuesdays. We smoke cigars from all over the world. No cancer, no bad breath, no smelly clothes.

Devil> How about sex? Do you like sex Bill?

Bill> Now you are talkin' you bet I like sex, hell I was almost thrown out of office because of it.

Devil> How about gay sex?

Bill> ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NO WAY, I have been a womanizer from day one.





.
Devil> You are going to HATE Wednesdays.

 

[jabloomf1230]

What do you call an insane alligator?

Reptile dysfunction.

 

[sawmill]

..........

 

[D2Cat]

 

[Daren Todd]

[emoji14] [emoji14]

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[sheepfarmer]

Ain’t this the truth

 

[sawmill]

..........

 

[North Idaho Wolfman]

..........

Hummm I do that with trees all day.... Might be because I hang around a bunch of dogs all day....

 

[BAP]

[emoji14] [emoji14]

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Now that would be fun to watch!!!

 

[Daren Todd]

Now that would be fun to watch!!!

Yup, with a battery with a little more oomph behind it. 9 volts just a tingle.

Like tweezing a nose hair

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[dochsml]

That may backfire, literally, on the person holding the battery.

 

[skeets]

Yup, with a battery with a little more oomph behind it. 9 volts just a tingle.

Like tweezing a nose hair

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That would create a bolted fault for lack of a better term and the ring would get hotter than a firecracker in short order.. Not a nice thing to do,,, but yeah that would be funnier than,, well you know

 

[dochsml]

That would create a bolted fault for lack of a better term and the ring would get hotter than a firecracker in short order.. Not a nice thing to do,,, but yeah that would be funnier than,, well you know

I suppose it could depending how thick that nose ring is and what it is made from and it's ability to carry the 0.5 amp that a 9v battery puts out. Something will get hot for sure. Either the battery or the nose ring. My money would be on the battery getting hot first.

 

[Magicman]

A couple went out for dinner in a fine restaurant. After being seated the husband noticed a woman a few tables over, sitting alone and drinking but not eating. There were several empty cocktail glasses in front of her and she could barely sit up. The husband kept glancing over and finally his wife asked, “Do you know her?” The husband replied, “Yes. That’s my ex-wife. When we divorced 7 years ago, I heard she took to drinking and hasn’t been sober a day since.” The wife replied, “My goodness. You would think the woman couldn’t go on celebrating that long.”

 

[Daren Todd]

So that's what those little icon mean

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[Fordtech86]

So that's what those little icon mean

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Them lights just mean you need more tape to cover them up

 

[Daren Todd]

Them lights just mean you need more tape to cover them up

Black sharpie worked wonders on the red LED signaling a fault in the OnStar system in my sierra [emoji14]

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[Newlyme]

When a dog sees a Police Dog do they think, "Uh oh, it's the Cops!"