A thought for today....

[D2Cat]

Medicare - Part G - Nursing Home Plan

Say you are an older senior citizen and can no longer take care of yourself and the government says there is no Nursing Home care available for you. So, what do you do? You opt for Medicare Part G.

The plan gives anyone 75 or older a gun (Part G) and one bullet. You are allowed to shoot one worthless politician. This means you will be sent to prison for the rest of your life where you will receive three meals a day, a roof over your head, central heating and air conditioning, cable TV, a library, and all the Health Care you need. Need new teeth? No problem. Need glasses? That's great. Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees, kidney, lungs, or heart? They are all covered!

As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least as often as they do now! And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a nursing home. And you will get rid of a useless politicians while you are at it. And now, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to pay any more income taxes!

Is this a great country or what? Now that you have solved your senior financial plan, enjoy the rest of your week!

 

[Grouse Feathers]

Your thoughts for the day are way better than the Daily Chuckle or NSFW Chuckle.

 

[Daren Todd]

Do you have the option of shooting an engineer instead of a politician if you do then sign me up cause I sure would love to get my hands on the person who designed this configuration whomever came up with this set up is a genius. Let's install an oil line for on injection pump. And attach it to the block with a banjo fitting behind said injection pump. Where the only person that has hands small enough to get to it is an 8 year old kid just taking a moment to vent

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Diydave]

whazzat, a deutzell?

 

[Daren Todd]

whazzat, a deutzell?

Yup, 914 four banger. That ones 4 years old with over 7000 hours It's been out on a job almost two years. pulled it off the job last week to address some oil leaks and for a spit shine and polish

 

[Tooljunkie]

Daren, all you need is one of them telescopic flex head air powered bolt gripping box end lighted ratchet torque wrench.
I think sears carrys em. Problem is they only work one time....

 

[D2Cat]

Cowboy Church,

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged.

In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible. The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor: “Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship.”

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

But the next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots and hat.

Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the man and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church.”

“I did,” replied the old cowboy.

“If you spoke to God, what did he tell you proper attire should be for worshiping in here?” asked the preacher.

“Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He said He’d never been in here before.”

 

[D2Cat]

Never approach a bull from the front, a horse from the rear, or a fool from any direction.

 

[Roadworthy]

"Never squat with your spurs on." - Will Rogers

 

[skeets]

Either lead, follow, or get the hell out of the way !

 

[D2Cat]

 

[skratch]

The way to long life,,

Stay in the shade, drink lot's of beer, and never whiz against the wind.

skratch

 

[D2Cat]

The more people I know, the more I understand why Noah only let animals on the boat.

 

[D2Cat]

If you step on someone’s foot they open their mouth...just like a trash can.

 

[D2Cat]

If you get lost in the woods find a possum and follow it. You will end up in the middle of the road!

 

[dochsml]

Do you have the option of shooting an engineer instead of a politician if you do then sign me up cause I sure would love to get my hands on the person who designed this configuration whomever came up with this set up is a genius. Let's install an oil line for on injection pump. And attach it to the block with a banjo fitting behind said injection pump. Where the only person that has hands small enough to get to it is an 8 year old kid just taking a moment to vent

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

This made me laugh. I've worked on Italian made machines for the past ~25 years and I swear they must all have long skinny fingers in Italy!

 

[shootem604]

Cowboy Church,

One Sunday morning an old cowboy entered a church just before services were to begin. Although the old man and his clothes were spotlessly clean, he wore jeans, a denim shirt and boots that were very worn and ragged.

In his hand he carried a worn out old hat and an equally worn out Bible. The church he entered was in a very upscale and exclusive part of the city. It was the largest and most beautiful church the old cowboy had ever seen. The people of the congregation were all dressed with expensive clothes and accessories.

As the cowboy took a seat, the others moved away from him. No one greeted, spoke to or welcomed him. They were all appalled at his appearance and did not attempt to hide it.

As the old cowboy was leaving the church, the preacher approached him and asked the cowboy to do him a favor: “Before you come back in here again, have a talk with God and ask him what he thinks would be appropriate attire for worship.”

The old cowboy assured the preacher he would.

But the next Sunday, he showed back up for the services wearing the same ragged jeans, shirt, boots and hat.

Once again he was completely shunned and ignored. The preacher approached the man and said, “I thought I asked you to speak to God before you came back to our church.”

“I did,” replied the old cowboy.

“If you spoke to God, what did he tell you proper attire should be for worshiping in here?” asked the preacher.

“Well, sir, God told me that He didn’t have a clue what I should wear. He said He’d never been in here before.”

During the sermon, the old cowboy heard something he liked and threw in a "Hallelujah" The minister stopped, heads turned to look, and then the sermon continued on. A little later, there was another part the cowboy liked and he offered a loud "Amen". This continued throughout the sermon, until the usher came to the old cowboy and said "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave".
"But why?" asked the cowboy, "I've got religion."
"That may very well be" replied the usher, "But you did not get it here"

 

[D2Cat]

What true love is:

"My parents were married for 55 years. One morning, my mom was going downstairs to make dad breakfast, she had a heart attack and fell. My father picked her up as best he could and almost dragged her into the truck. At full speed, without respecting traffic lights, he drove her to the hospital.

When he arrived, unfortunately she was no longer with us.

During the funeral, my father did not speak; his gaze was lost. He hardly cried.

That night, his children joined him. In an atmosphere of pain and nostalgia, we remembered beautiful anecdotes and he asked my brother, a theologian, to tell him where Mom would be at that moment. My brother began to talk about life after death, and guesses as to how and where she would be.

My father listened carefully. Suddenly he asked us to take him to the cemetery.

"Dad!" we replied, "it's 11 at night, we can't go to the cemetery right now!"

He raised his voice, and with a glazed look he said:

"Don't argue with me, please don't argue with the man who just lost his wife of 55 years."

There was a moment of respectful silence, we didn't argue anymore. We went to the cemetery, and we asked the night watchman for permission. With a flashlight, we reached the tomb. My father caressed her, prayed, and told his children, who watched the scene, moved:

"It was 55 years... you know? No one can talk about true love if they have no idea what it's like to share life with a woman."

He paused and wiped his face. "She and I, we were together in that crisis. I changed jobs ..." he continued. "We packed up when we sold the house and moved out of town. We shared the joy of seeing our children finish their careers, we mourned the departure of loved ones side by side, we prayed together in the waiting room of some hospitals, we support each other in pain, we hug each Christmas, and we forgive our mistakes... Children, now it's gone, and I'm happy, do you know why?

Because she left before me. She didn't have to go through the agony and pain of burying me, of being left alone after my departure. I will be the one to go through that, and I thank God. I love her so much that I wouldn't have liked her to suffer..."

When my father finished speaking, my brothers and I had tears streaming down our faces. We hugged him, and he comforted us, "It's okay, we can go home, it's been a good day."

That night I understood what true love is. It is far from romanticism, it does not have much to do with eroticism, or with sex, rather it is linked to work, to complement, to care, and, above all, to the true love that two really committed people profess."

Peace in your hearts.

Author: Unknown

Credit: Michelle Price