A dull day in Kansas

[D2Cat]

I'm setting here this morning making some phone calls and I get this call on my cell. It's an urgent call telling me the Internal Revenue Service is looking for me and if I don't respond to this particular phone number the local police will come to arrest me. I have 24 hours to respond.

Now I've received this call a few time before, but the sheriff hasn't been able to find my location, yet. So I decided the best thing to do is for me to call this number and get the problem resolved.

I call and the person answering has an accent I find difficult to understand and there seems to be a lot of background noise, like he's in a room with many other talking on the phone at the same time, or maybe he's stranded on the shoulder of the road and I hear the road noise. When I ask him to speak slower I still can't understand him. I ask him to speak louder.

He wants my name, so I gave him a false name. Then he wants my address. I ask him if he really needs my address, he's the IRS and he knows my IQ, shoe size, and wife's name. I tell him I am going to record this conversation so I can be sure to not miss anything. The phone becomes disconnected.

I call back. Actually, I called back 3 or 4 times with very brief conversations. The last time he asked my name and I gave him the name from a couple phone calls earlier. He called me a GDMF and hung up.

What do I need to do to get this problem with the IRS resolved?

I think I will have to call back to find out....

 

[Daren Todd]

Nothing like screwing with the scammers I haven't had a real telemarketer in quite some time. It was a recording from Rachel from account services. Now I can say, this girl got around and must have the mother load of frequent flier miles.

Calls from DC, then Texas, Oregon, Arkansas, California, then Connecticut. Thinking she must have a private jet. All these calls came to 2 different phones in a day.

Well, sadly Rachel must have gotten fired. Thinking she must have taken advantage of said jet. Cause recently I have been getting calls from Penny from account services. Penny must be a real go getter, since I also get calls from her for US Debt Consolidation.

 

[Creature Meadow]

I like to play with them as well, a couple I like to do are:

1- Phone rings, hello 911 dispatcher was is your emergency? Crickets, click

2- Phone rings, hello short delay while they start their pitch then in a panic. Oh my god I am sorry was standing beside this phone when it rang, I'm robbing this house got to go. Crickets, click.

3- Craigslist I like to respond when I get off duty and carry my police car home I could meet you to look at the product being sold. Never get a response. Couple times on Kubota tractors I was looking at.

 

[Stmar]

That is the reason I got rid of my landline, 90% of the calls were from an Indian and I don't know many Indians and the ones I do know are rich. Most calls were about something being wrong with my computer and if I wanted to mess with them I would say "But I don't have a computer" and they would start arguing with me. Or I may play dumb, like real dumb, and when they would say they wanted to save me money I would launch into "You save me money" and that would be my response to every question/response, after a few minutes they would hang up. Another one that really got them frustrated was saying "I can't hear you" and pretending to talk to someone with me saying that there must be something wrong with the line. That one really drew their ire.

 

[RCW]

I think I will have to call back to find out....

That made me laugh!!

 

[car compulsive]

Answering the phone at work or home with "Child support enforcement" usually gets a quick hangup.

 

[curiousj]

The same IRS gang is after me as well. Polite, they always leave a message, usually in very bad English, although lately they’ve wised up and are now leaving their messages in a computer-generated voice.

In case any of you may be interested in a really good belly laugh, follow the link below and listen in to how a professional comedian (Tom Mabe) plays with his telemarketers. One of the funniest I’ve ever heard, and sorry if somebody else has already posted it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a6a-CZMrVAg

 

[skeets]

Ring ring,, unknown caller no ID

Sargent Friday Homicide
caller: ,excuse me?
I said this is sargent friday los angeles police department, homicide division.
caller: Can I speak to,,, pick a name.
What number are you calling
caller: XXX-XXX-XXXX
that is this number and it is still the Los Angeles Police Department,, ( muffled voice,Sue put a trace on this call), now who are you looking for again?
caller: Ahhh I guess this is not the correct number I will have it removed from the listing immediately,, click
I guess they never saw dragnet in india

 

[D2Cat]

Skeets, I'm going to copy that off and have it ready for my next script.

I've been getting some calls with some group wanting to help me get a lesser interest rate on my student loan. Sometimes my creative juices just aren't flowing. And no I've never seen a Dragnet show.

 

[Kubota_Man]

And no I've never seen a Dragnet show.

WHAT D2Cat you really need to fix that condition

 

[D2Cat]

Kubota_Man, I rarely watch TV with an exception of the weather or a sport event once in a while. There are a lot of shows I have never seen. I actually have no idea what the theme of Dragnet is.

Remember when Dallas was on? I remember a big deal being made about the last episode. I had to ask someone what it was about, and I thought I was going to be excommunicated from the human race.

Oh wait, I did enjoy watching Columbo. I use his technique when looking to buy implements/tractors and such. I look the item over and ask real simple questions, and in my mind I have the proverbial cigar in my mouth and rolling in my fingers as I'm thinking, keeping a calm peaceful mindset. Then take a couple steps away and turn back and ask, "What would be your bottom dollar?" Man, it works good!

 

[skeets]

Dragnet,,, Once you hear it,, it will be forever in yoru mind

https://youtu.be/Hj-qhIGTXdU?t=35

 

[Stmar]

"Just the facts Mam"

 

[Kurtee]

Here is one to try. When the phone rings a couple of times pick it up and say "I did what you said and now there is blood everywhere, what next?

 

[johnjk]

I haven't gotten the IRS one yet but I do get the extended warranty calls all the time. They give you the range of years (2009 and newer) and under 150K miles. I will take the time, go through the hoops and tell them I have a 2005 Saturn ION with 205K and I really need the warranty extended. I had one guy on the line for almost 20 minutes trying to figure out how to get it in his system. Finally he came back and said the were not allowed to help and what other cars did I have. Told him that was my newest one and I was hoping to buy a 2008 Taurus a buddy has with 190K since it was dependable. He was extremely apologetic. I almost was sorry. Said they would remove my number from their list. Nope, still get those calls and I still tell them the same story.

 

[D2Cat]

Yes, we get those calls no matter what we do. I don't think there is any way to stop it. The "do not call" list has no effect on them. So one has to decide to have some fun and enjoy the times, or be angry all the time!

I answer numbers I do not know because I have rental property and it may be someone inquiring, or I left a message about an implement or something on CL and they may be calling me back. It's part of the "purchase price". I just roll with it.

I used a version of Skeet's Dragnet dialogue yesterday. I was in the shop when my phone rang. I wiped off my hands and answered. They're usually speaking in a hard to understand dialect. So I use that to gather my thoughts by telling them I can not hear them. And I usually tell them that several times, "Can you turn up the volume?" Or, "You'll have to speak slower".

By then I have determined my madness method. Yesterday after some time trying to get them to speak up, I told "Mary" to get a recording of this call and I would keep them on the line for a while. We got disconnected, and I went back to work. I kinda like practicing my phone skills!

 

[torch]

I answer those obviously faked caller ID calls with "<local> Fire Department. Please state the nature of your emergency." They usually hang up on me pretty fast and rarely call back.

 

[D2Cat]

Didn't want to start a new thread, but it is a dull day in Kansas.

But here's my question. If a woman wears a cowboy hat what do we call it?

 

[Lil Foot]

Sexy? Hot?