That almost makes me jealous! After 27 years in the tropics I'm utterly fed up with hot and bone-dry or utterly humid weather, and all the of nasty critters and diseases that come with it.
As so often, the journalist (?) got it wrong (or maybe just wanted an eye-catching headline?): the lady was NOT eaten alive. Instead, she was first crushed and strangled to death.
$3,500 plus shipping seems very steep.
Considering your needs (400' total row length), a machine like this should do nicely, for around $1,000, including tax (this one is actually EUR 874 + VAT):
They do indeed, if they are wadded up and in a tight space (trash bag...). But linseed oil on a wooden deck is harmless - done decks and floors with it.