Daily Chuckle

[lynnmor]

A little boy was doing his Math Homework.

"Two plus five, the son of a [bleep] is seven.

Three plus six, the son of a [bleep] is nine..."

His mother heard what he was saying and gasped, "What are you doing?"

The little boy answered, "I'm doing my Math Homework, Mom."

"And this is how your teacher taught you to do it?" the mother asked.

"Yes," he answered

Infuriated, the mother asked the teacher the next day, "What are you teaching my son in Math?"


The teacher replied, "Right now, we are learning addition."


The mother asked, "And are you teaching them to say two plus two, the son of a [bleep] is four?"


After the teacher stopped laughing, he answered,. "What I taught them was, two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH, is four."

 

[JimDeL]

When our 4yo grandson was learning to talk. Granny started to lose grip on something breakable and went "Sh#t.. sh#t....sh#t!!!!"

Guess who learned a new word and was sure proud of it

I've been told my first words were "ahh Shit."

 

[NorthwoodsLife]

I've been told my first words were "ahh Shit."

And lots of people's last words.

 

[dlsmith]

When my son was 3 or 4, my mother took him into town one day. As usual there was a train at the N. Main street crossing, and while waiting, mom heard him say something, but didn't catch it the first time. She asked him what he said and he said "damn trains." She asked him who taught that language, he said "mom."
When she took him back home, she told the wife to watch her language around him.

 

[WanderOn]

I've been told my first words were "ahh Shit."

My grandfather single handedly taught all us kids "ahhhh sh!t"
Poor old bugger was full of arthritis and spending his whole adult life working in heavy industry, it was second nature to him.

 

[WanderOn]

Repost warning.

 

[WanderOn]

When my son was 3 or 4, my mother took him into town one day. As usual there was a train at the N. Main street crossing, and while waiting, mom heard him say something, but didn't catch it the first time. She asked him what he said and he said "damn trains." She asked him who taught that language, he said "mom."
When she took him back home, she told the wife to watch her language around him.

There's no secrets with toddlers. Learnt that the hard way.

 

[Daren Todd]

And lots of people's last words.

Those were my words when I gave a moose a proctology exam with a Ford ranger

Had two of them run out in the road in front of me. I was able to swerve into the other lane to get around the closer one. But as I started to swerve back into my lane to get around the other one, an ABS sensor burned out and my brakes locked up.

Thankfully I was slowed down enough that all I ended up with was a caved in hood, cracked windshield, and busted grill.

Smacked that sucker in the hind quarter. I still remember what Moose booty looks like pressed across the windshield

 

[dirtydeed]

 

[skeets]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Daylight]

 

[dirtydeed]

 

[Daylight]

 

[dirtydeed]

I just saw that a new album was announced. I'm ecstatic...

It's been all too quiet since the superbowl boo's... I was almost out of memes.

 

[Daren Todd]

I just saw that a new album was announced. I'm ecstatic...

View attachment 161004


It's been all too quiet since the superbowl boo's... I was almost out of memes.

That looks like the gal who worked at a McDonald's near my work when I was living in Florida in my early 20's.

Looked really cute from the back, but when she turned around..... wow those were some thick coke bottle glasses.

My coworker asked me a week later when I got lunch from there again if "McGoggles waited on me????"

 

[dirtydeed]

Looked really cute from the back, but when she turned around..... wow those were some thick coke bottle glasses.

We used to call them "butterface". lol

 

[NorthwoodsLife]

Batman in the lower junk room today. I kept the door open until he flew out.

Caped Crusader had work to do, glad I could help him out.

Or I released Nosferatu to make hell on earth!

 

[Magicman]

 

[sawmill]

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