Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

Duct Tape to the Rescue.

 

[Daylight]

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.
I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my children, friends, family and work.
I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.
I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.
I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.
Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.
One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenaline flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!
I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there.

 

[Moose7060]

 

[Daren Todd]

View attachment 146577

Jack Daniel's as well

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[Daren Todd]

 

[skeets]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Magicman]

 

[Moose7060]

 

[Moose7060]

I was unaware dishwashers needed a block heater!

 

[GreensvilleJay]

View attachment 146583

should have used 'Alien tape , as seen on TV ' ! maybe get the 2 rolls free deal ?

 

[xrocketengineer]

View attachment 146646

I am pretty sure the FCC would not allow that here. It could cause unintended feedback noise.

 

[PoTreeBoy]

I am pretty sure the FCC would not allow that here. It could cause unintended feedback noise.

And the FTC would have them for product fraud, false advertising, etc.

 

[skeets]

 

[Magicman]

A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where any woman could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.

First floor: the door had a sign saying "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"

So up they go. Second floor says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking" Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?".

Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow, say the women! Very tempting, but, there's more further up!? And so again, they go up.

Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." Oh, mercy me. But just think!?!?! What must be awaiting us further on!

So up to the fifth floor they go. The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping, and have a nice day."

 

[bmblank]

A "Husband Shopping Center" was opened where any woman could go to choose a husband from among many men. It was laid out in five floors, with the men increasing in positive attributes as you ascended up the floors. The only rule was, once you opened the door to any floor, you must choose a man from that floor, and if you went up a floor, you couldn't go back down except to leave the place. So, a couple of girlfriends go to the place to find men.

First floor: the door had a sign saying "These men have jobs and love kids." The women read the sign and say "Well that's better than not having jobs, or not loving kids, but I wonder what's further up?"

So up they go. Second floor says "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, and are extremely good looking" Hmmm, say the girls. But, I wonder what's further up?".

Third floor: "These men have high paying jobs, are extremely good looking, love kids and help with the housework." Wow, say the women! Very tempting, but, there's more further up!? And so again, they go up.

Fourth floor: "These men have high paying jobs, love kids, are extremely good looking, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak." Oh, mercy me. But just think!?!?! What must be awaiting us further on!

So up to the fifth floor they go. The sign on that door said: "This floor is just to prove that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping, and have a nice day."

First floor husbands, unite!

 

[airbiscuit]

The basement is just like the first floor, but the husbands there don't put the toilet seat down, and they do fart openly.

 

[bmblank]

The shoe shop in the town I grew up in had the Bargain Basement. That's where I got most of my (perfectly serviceable) shoes from.

I do put the seat down... We had a dog that would drink out of the toilet, so I got in to that habit. Plus, cabinet over one of the toilets. Nothing like pulling a towel out and then having to fish a washcloth or something out of the toilet...