fried1765
Well-known member
Equipment
Kubota L48 TLB, Ford 1920 FEL, Ford 8N, SCAG Liberty Z, Gravely Pro.
Sad story, but.......Way off track!Maybe too far off topic, but quite a few years ago I got into a serious conversation with my mother in law about that because I had also wondered the same for many years.
Her first answer was she didn’t make enough money to leave. I’d done her taxes the previous couple years (she and her husband filed separately) and she wasn’t wealthy by any means, but the numbers didn’t add up to me. A bit of discussion later, and an offer for my wife and I to make up any shortfall if that was the only reason, she admitted that was an excuse and asked if I wanted the real reason. I did. She said it was better than being alone. Just to clarify, I asked her if it was really better to spend 30 years living with someone who beat you on average twice a week and occasionally stuck a rifle barrel in your mouth to ensure you listened to their rant. She said yes, in her opinion being alone was far more terrifying than having a drunk man point a loaded gun at her now and then between beatings.
Told her I lived by myself for a few years between leaving my parents home and getting married so I didn’t agree, but if she ever changed her mind and wanted some help financially or otherwise, call us. About a year later, her husband didn’t just threaten, he pulled the trigger. Twice. He was so drunk he missed. They were inside their singlewide trailer so couldn’t have been any distance apart. She didn’t call the police; the neighbors did.
After the police left, she called. Got her a hotel for a couple days. My wife’s sister and her husband had just bought a house and were looking to sell the old singlewide they started out in so they gave it to her. Wife’s brother was going through his first or second divorce (I have a hard time keeping his numerous marriages and resulting offspring straight) so he moved in with her to split bills and provide security. We bought the furniture and other stuff she needed to set up basic housekeeping. They never divorced but also never spoke or saw each other again even though they lived only about 300 yards from each other, her in the trailer park on the north side of the rail line and him in the trailer park on the south side. He died about 15 years ago, but that’s another story.
A few years later, her son had found wife number three (or maybe two of four… whatever) son moved out and she was truly living alone. After about a year of that I asked her if living alone was actually worse than living with constant abuse. She said it was kind of a close call because both were good and bad for different reasons but she still thought alone was a bit worse. 20 years later she’s happy living alone.
Anyway, based on a survey of one: living with an abuser is better than living alone. (I vehemently disagree BTW).