i7win7
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Daily Chuckle
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When you sleep, the mites come out of your skin’s pores, mate, then go back into your skin to lay eggs.
A teacher at a polytechnic college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.
"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand".
"Now listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.
I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!"
A smart-arsed chappie at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, "What would happen if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?"
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.
When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head, and sweetly said, "Well, I suppose you'd have to write the exam with your other hand".
Nine-year-old Joey was asked by his mother what he had learned at Sunday school.
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
"When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.
"Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
"Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt.
"When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely.
"Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."
"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.
"Well, no. But if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"
Magicman
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bmblank
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Daren Todd
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i7win7
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i7win7
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PHPaul
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i7win7
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i7win7
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BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Magicman
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Daren Todd
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Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
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Lifetime Member
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Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Well, maybe, but I've seen one of the industrial sucker truck versions painted the same blue as a particular dress, and the name "Monica" emblazoned across the back.
Life ain't like a bowl of cherries,
There's too little laughter and too much sorrow.
It's more like a jar of jalapenos,
Cause what you do and say today, It don't go away and stay
It'll just come back and burn your ass tomorrow.
From the Bellamy Brothers song ( Jalapeños)
There's too little laughter and too much sorrow.
It's more like a jar of jalapenos,
Cause what you do and say today, It don't go away and stay
It'll just come back and burn your ass tomorrow.
From the Bellamy Brothers song ( Jalapeños)
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