Quotations To Live By.....

[Howling]

Great song, very upbeat. Hit #2 on the rock charts in 1990. Probably says something about how old we both are...

Getting old... I ran spotlight on the very first Asia concert in 1982.

 

[DaTow'd]

" When in doubt, tell the truth"
Mark Twain

 

[shootem604]

" When in doubt, tell the truth"
Mark Twain

He also said "If you always tell the truth, you never have to remember anything."

 

[Hue]

Majority rule don't work in mental institutions.

 

[biglefty]

Pigs get fat. Hogs get slaughtered.

 

[D2Cat]

When the chips are down the buffalo is empty.

 

[dlsmith]

"If you find me chopped up inside the freezer, don't believe the suicide note." - Ray Barone

 

[skeets]

Never date a girl with big hands,, it makes your willy look small
My Granny

 

[D2Cat]

When an Indian was asked his opinion on "Daylight Savings Time, he said; "Only a white man can take a blanket; cut two inches off the top and sew it to the bottom and think he has a longer blanket!"

 

[NHSleddog]

"Don't give it to me filtered son, that's like sucking tits through a sweater".

My father - many times

 

[skeets]

Walk left, safe. Walk right, safe. Walk in the middle, you get squished like a grape.

 

[sheepfarmer]

When I was young I used to admire intelligent people; as I grow older I admire kind people. AJ Heschel

 

[skeets]

More from Grannies advice on dating
If at first your succeed,,,,,,,,, you were not the first !

 

[SidecarFlip]

You can fool some of the people all of the time and all of the people some of the time, but you cannot fool your mom..... Captain Penny

 

[D2Cat]

It's OK to kiss a fool. It's OK to let a fool kiss you, but don't let a kiss fool you.

 

[RCW]

Gotta thank sheepfarmer for resurrecting the thread.

I went through all 25 pages again...got some good laughs from D2Cat, lilfoot, NewLyme, and many others...some we don't see anymore.

Now skeets - - Granny must have been a real pizzer. Saw a couple zingers from your Grandpop too.

Never date a girl with big hands,, it makes your willy look small
My Granny

In the 21st Century, a "big-handed" woman might mean something more than Granny was thinking about...

More from Grannies advice on dating
If at first your succeed,,,,,,,,, you were not the first !

That's just plain funny!

Both sound like things one of my grannies would say!

 

[skeets]

Gran was a cat bird, she called a spade a spade, and you never had to wonder where you stood with her and she would give you a piece of her mind weather you asked for it or not. Now I understand why Grand Pap drank him self to death ... lol But then being an old school Irish man what else would ya expect

 

[RCW]

Gran was a cat bird, she called a spade a spade, and you never had to wonder where you stood with her and she would give you a piece of her mind weather you asked for it or not.

That's exactly like one of my Grannies...her husband/my Grandfather was even more direct.

Lots of beer was usually involved.

They were a pair that'd beat 3-of-a-kind any day!

My girlfriend met them both at my high school graduation party.....my grandfather called her "Hey - - - Blondie!!"

She married me anyway....

 

[BXHoosier]

“If you’re continually sticking your head up your ass, wear a bigger hat so it won’t fit.”

A younger guy at work was scrapping parts one right after the other. I looked at him and said “I’m gonna get you a bigger hat”. With a confused look on his face he asked why. My reply was, “So your head won’t fit up your ass!”. He took it well. Haha

 

[chim]

After hearing of a particularly heinous crime some fellow had committed, Grandad said:

"They should take that SOB and hack his nuts off with a dull hoe".