Good laugh....Share your story

[Creature Meadow]

Safe to say I guess we all do some lame brain things once in a while, some of us "me" more often than not. Was reading a post earlier that prompted me to make this post. tractor operator was trying to use the brake to turn his tractor around only to find out the brakes were locked together, thus bogging the tractor down instead of it turning quickly, I have done that as well.

So what have you done that made you laugh out loud when you realized how crazy it was that you would do such a thing?

For me here it goes. Headed down hallway at work to elevator, swiped my badge which is required to enter most all areas. Elevator did not open, stood waiting a few minutes.........Nothing, elevator must be out of service walked around and took stairs 2 stories down. Finished my work and headed back to elevator, pressed button door opened.

Got to second floor and thought wow they got the elevator fixed quickly, and headed down hallway to my office.

Sat down in my chair and thought you dumb butt, you swiped your badge instead of pressing the up button, that is why it did not open. Began laughing and thinking wow my mind must have been somewhere else, sure want where it should have been considering I have been going up and down that elevator for last 20 years.

What you got, can it top this brain fart?

Have a great day.

Jay

 

[johnjk]

Coworker was having issues with their computer. Our cubes had glass partitions on the ends to let light through. I went to look behind the PC totally forgetting there was a pane of glass there and about knocked myself out. Everyone had a good laugh and there are still stickers on the glass around me so I don't attempt it a second time.

One other one occurred a few years back when we were out on business going to dinner. The restaurant had a covered area where you could drive up and discharge passengers when raining. It was dusk and I was running to catch up with the group. I went to take a short cut between the post which were about 20' apart, only to find a 1" square cross beam between the two posts just about gut high for me. Painted black. Bounced me back on my rear and bent the cross member. I was scared that the roof was gonna collapse the way it shook. Ruth's Chris Steak House in Mobile AL in case you are wondering. They were good sports and I got a free drink and app from Ruth's Chris. A bit tender around the mid section for a few days though...

 

[bucktail]

Wasn't me, but in college, I worked a couple of summers at a hog farm. We had honey wagons with vane pumps on them. Set the valve one way, and they pulled vacuum to fill the tank. Switch the valve and it pressurizes the tank to empty it. We had a guy that was a little OCD. When we were knifing it in, most of us would watch the pressure gage and keep knifing it in until the gage read 0. Not Ray. Ray had to stop in the same distance every time. As a result, sometimes he had 3350 gallon tank that had a little liquid gold and ~20 psi in it. The filler hose was something like 8-10" in diameter and it had a gate valve on it. For reasons known only to him, Ray decided to crack the gate valve while standing in front of it to have a look see. He got covered heat to toe in liquid hog scat. Had to ride back to town in the back of his truck.

 

[85Hokie]

This was a while back, in the grocery store. Got to checkout....pulled out my card - swiped it, error reading card.....

swiped again....... same....

Cashier asked for card, THATS when I knew I was swiping my LOWES card at the grocery store.......felt like an idiot!!!!!!!!!!! But to my defense, BOTH are dark blue........
but still - I felt sTuPiD!

 

[Lil Foot]

This was a while back, in the grocery store. Got to checkout....pulled out my card - swiped it, error reading card.....
swiped again....... same....
Cashier asked for card, THATS when I knew I was swiping my LOWES card at the grocery store.......felt like an idiot!!!!!!!!!!! But to my defense, BOTH are dark blue........
but still - I felt sTuPiD!

Done the same thing with Fry's Grocery card & Ace Rewards card- both black.

 

[Yooper]

Spent a good 20 minutes looking for my special gray pencil that I use for marking metal. Just about turned my shop inside out. Out of frustration I scratch my head and that is when I felt the pencil tucked behind my ear!

 

[85Hokie]

Spent a good 20 minutes looking for my special gray pencil that I use for marking metal. Just about turned my shop inside out. Out of frustration I scratch my head and that is when I felt the pencil tucked behind my ear!

Been there too!!!

This is going to have 30 posts by Sunday!!!

 

[8upbowhunter]

Went get diesel in my truck one day, swiped my credit card then entered my zip code per instructions...fail, repeat, fail. Move to another pump and repeat slowly checking each digit on the screen and fail once more before realizing I was entering my employee number from when I was working [emoji23][emoji38][emoji13].


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[Creature Meadow]

Thanks for all the laughs, glad to know I am not alone doing some bone headed things.

One more, I am a fireman been doing so for 30 years. Mr. Ricky says truck needs "fuel" so off to the T-Mart to fill her up. Bout 25 gallons later he heads off to the the fire house and truck is running rough makes it to station and tells us something is wrong with the truck. Ask did you put gas or fuel in it, fuel he replies. Quick look at receipt and gas it was, we give him a fit over that one.

Last one for me and I will just keel reading and enjoying.

Middle of the night deep sleep fire pager goes off, structure fire, I lived about 3/4 mile from station so I could take my time be safe and still get outside seat so I could have nozzle for the fire. Jumped out of bed put on clothes headed to station, unlocked door put on bunker gear and no one else there yet. Depending on the night 5 or 6 of us would arrive same time. Grabbed helmet and walked to truck still no one........Hmmmmmm odd.

Walked to locker push repeat button to hear call again and nothing but squelch, just started laughing I had dreamed it. Undressed headed back home and into bed.

 

[North Idaho Wolfman]

Many a year ago...
Picture a young dude frantically working on his truck for a super hot date (and she was, tall, blond and stacked).
Work like mad to get the brakes fixed, about an hour from date time and off to the shower, but first a quick spin up and down the road to check the work.
Where are the flipping keys???
Look here, look there, look everywhere, spent the next 3 hours tearing apart everything looking for the keys, in complete disgust and udder dismay as to what happened to the dang truck keys.
I slam the truck door and hear the tinkle tinkle of the keys...In the dang door lock the whole time.
And no I didn't get the girl...she found someone else to spend her time with!

 

[Buffalo]

We were stopped at a routine driver's license check. My wife was driving,
but was talking a mile a minute about something or other.

She handed her license to the officer, and continued talking to me. The
officer handed it back to her and said:

Sorry M'am. We don't take Discover.

 

[skeets]

See there was this young feller, huntin wabbits on a very soggy day, and after he and his bud shot a couple below the smoke house in the blackberry's. And he feeling rather smug decided to relive him self along the fence line.
Now since the grass was wet, and his boots were wet, and a piece of hay was against the HOT WIRE OF THE ELECTRIC FENCE that no one turned off.
And said piece of hay, happened to be the recipient of his relief, the scream that erupted from his lungs is still spoken of today by folks down in that hollow.

 

[Lil Foot]

Posted this earlier.
Actual incident. Years ago the wife & I were watching tv when a news item came on announcing Joan Collins' 70th birthday party. She was wearing a very short, very tight-waisted, very low cut purple satin dress, which showed off her amazing physique, and of course her beautiful face & hair. She really looked stunning. My wife commented "I hope I look that good when I'm 70." Without engaging brain before mouth, I blurted out "I wish you looked that good now."
After I picked myself off the floor, I had to endure about a week of silent treatment. She eventually got over it, she's a good sport. But ever since, my mouth now has a 6 second live broadcast delay.

 

[RCW]

See there was this young feller.

Bet I know who that young feller is.....

Not as funny, but you all been here.....or your lying....:

20 years ago, had a 30 year old Montgomery Ward Walk-Behind Snowblower. Briggs & Stratton engine always ran like a top. Ground drive/tires always sucked...but got me through Blizzard of 1993.

One nice fall day, pull it out for service/preventive maintenance before winter.

Beautiful, warm and sunny day!

Get service done, and go to start.....pull, pull, pull....nothing....But this ALWAYS starts!?!?!

Air around the machine gets blue from my profanity...pull, pull, pull...nothing...

My 3 children are attracted to the kerfuffle....more profanity, and expulsion of the offspring from the area....pull, pull, pull...nothing...

Spark plug out; sniff, sniff, and a little gas down the hole...pull, pull, pull...nothing...

Wife offers help...profanity...you get the gist....pull, pull, pull...nothing...

Ah...Spark?..pull, pull, pull...nothing......AHHAA!!

Then I pulled the f***$ng start/stop rod lever up......bet your ass, next pull she fired....

 

[Daren Todd]

Many a year ago...
Picture a young dude frantically working on his truck for a super hot date (and she was, tall, blond and stacked).
Work like mad to get the brakes fixed, about an hour from date time and off to the shower, but first a quick spin up and down the road to check the work.
Where are the flipping keys???
Look here, look there, look everywhere, spent the next 3 hours tearing apart everything looking for the keys, in complete disgust and udder dismay as to what happened to the dang truck keys.
I slam the truck door and hear the tinkle tinkle of the keys...In the dang door lock the whole time.
And no I didn't get the girl...she found someone else to spend her time with!

Here's a first date that never happened Had an old Mazda B2000 truck. Had what I thought was minor rust in the floor boards. Was pretty shy when I was a kid also.

Worked up the courage to ask this girl out for a date. She said yes. Got to her place to pick her up for the date. Everything was going great till we climbed into the truck (bench seat) and the bloody seat proceeded to drop through the floor of the truck Drove the truck home sitting on a milk crate

 

[RCW]

Without engaging brain before mouth, I blurted out "I wish you looked that good now." After I picked myself off the floor

Bill - funny!

If I had a dollar for every time I pulled a bone-head comment.....

My wife is 50% Irish/50% Italian, so the fuse can be pretty short to begin with!

 

[Newlyme]

A coworker and I get in the elevator heading down to the ground floor, (we're on the fourth floor), and start gabbing. We're talking for awhile and he says this elevator seems slow today. I agreed and we kept gabbing. A few seconds later the door opens and another person gets on and pushes the button to go down and the elevator starts moving. It was the same floor we entered on apparently neither one of us pressed the button.

 

[bgk]

Last week..... I have 2 40# propane tanks. I only use them for my oven/range, so a 40# lasts 4-6 months with ease. The routine is when one is getting low or runs out I make the 2 mile drive down to the hardware store (which has the lowest fill prices in the county which is a bonus) and fill the empty one, and switch over. I was in a rush, and it was just getting dark out. We had company coming over and of course it ran out right after the oven pre-heated and was ready for a beautiful 9# prime rib. I go down, grab the new tank and go to do the swap. No dice. Figure the line is frozen or something. Disconnect and reconnect, nothing. I grab a 20# barbecue tank and it works! I go to hook the larger tank back up and go to move it and THEN realize I had been reconnecting the empty tank. Stupid F***

 

[bgk]

Here's a first date that never happened Had an old Mazda B2000 truck. Had what I thought was minor rust in the floor boards. Was pretty shy when I was a kid also.



Worked up the courage to ask this girl out for a date. She said yes. Got to her place to pick her up for the date. Everything was going great till we climbed into the truck (bench seat) and the bloody seat proceeded to drop through the floor of the truck Drove the truck home sitting on a milk crate

That is great birth control. Even better way to see if the lady is wife material.

 

[bgk]

Posted this earlier.

Actual incident. Years ago the wife & I were watching tv when a news item came on announcing Joan Collins' 70th birthday party. She was wearing a very short, very tight-waisted, very low cut purple satin dress, which showed off her amazing physique, and of course her beautiful face & hair. She really looked stunning. My wife commented "I hope I look that good when I'm 70." Without engaging brain before mouth, I blurted out "I wish you looked that good now."

After I picked myself off the floor, I had to endure about a week of silent treatment. She eventually got over it, she's a good sport. But ever since, my mouth now has a 6 second live broadcast delay.

That’s when lil foot put that foot in his mouth and the fight started hahaha