#1 and #2

[sawmill]

I'll use #1 and #2 instead of names. (Don't want to offend anyone)

These two old guys had been buddies back in their college days, but they hadn't seen each other in many years. So.......#1 thought he would look up #2 before they died. After an extensive search he got his address and went to see him. He went up and knocked on the door. When #2 opened it he said "well I"ll be damned, #1 come on in." They visited a little while and #2 asked, "do you still drink beer?" #1 said "oh yeah." #2 said "well I'm all out, but I'll run down to the corner store and get a six pack. Just make yourself at home and I'll be right back." #1 sat down on the couch and started watching tv. There was a big bowl of peanuts on the coffee table so be ate a couple, then a couple more. Before he realized it he had eaten the entire bowl of peanuts. About that time #2 came back and opened them both a beer. #1 said "I'm sorry, but while you were gone I ate that whole bowl of peanuts." #2 said "Aw hell, that's okay. Since I lost all my teeth all I can do is suck the chocolate off of them."

 

[Daren Todd]

You have this guy trying to get a job selling tooth paste, but he has a terrible speach impediment. The Guy begs the owner to give him a chance. Finally the owner gives in and tells him if he can outsell the other two guys applying, then he could have it. They meet up at the end of the month. Owner asks the first guy how many unit did he sell. First guy replys "250 units". Owner say's not bad for your first month and asks the second guy how many he sold. Second guy replys "395 unit". Owner states that those were really good numbers for your first month. Finally it's the guy with the speech impediments turn. Owner asks how many units did he sell?. He stands up and states "1598 units". Owner is flabbergasted since no one ever comes close to hitting those numbers in there first year. And asks him how he sold so many. The guy reply's "I thought about it for along time. Finally decided to set up a taste testing booth at the local fair. People would come by and taste the stuff and say ahhh!!! This tastes like sh$$!!!! You know what I would tell them? Is sh$$, wanna buy a tooth brush??"

 

[ShaunBlake]

I'll use #1 and #2 instead of names. (Don't want to offend anyone)
...

Well, you failed miserably! I'm offended that you told about my toothless mouth but left out my name!