Daily Chuckle
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Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Lil Foot
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
1979 B7100DT Gear, Nissan Hanix N150-2 Excavator
I think this guy must be an engineer I worked with once.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw_tGPVyKYI
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw_tGPVyKYI
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
ShaunBlake
New member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
B6100D; B219; Piranha bar; Hodge stabilizers; Filled Ag rears; R322T w/48" deck
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
The relationship between a husband and wife is "Psychological".
One is Psycho. The other is Logical
One is Psycho. The other is Logical
Newlyme
Active member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 w/loader, finish mower, tiller, auger, rake. BX24 w/loader, backhoe
One of the many differences in America and Afghanistan is, we have Walmart, Sears, Tractor Supply, Penny's......
All they have are Targets!
All they have are Targets!
Newlyme
Active member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 w/loader, finish mower, tiller, auger, rake. BX24 w/loader, backhoe
And now one for Easter.
What do you get when you rub your rabbits foot with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck!
Happy Easter!
What do you get when you rub your rabbits foot with poison ivy?
A rash of good luck!
Happy Easter!
Easter riddle (joke):
Q: If Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joses (Mk 15:47) saw Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus prepare Jesus' body with 75 pounds of myrrh and aloes; wrap the body with the spices and strips of linen in accordance with Jewish burial customs, and place it in the tomb (Jn 19: 38-42), why did they go home and prepare spices and perfumes (Lk 23:56) and return to the tomb early Sunday morning (Mt 28:1) with the spices to annoint Jesus' body (Mk 16:1)?
A: To do the job right. (Thanks to my sister-in-law, Janet, for the answer I'm sure all women already knew.)
Q: If Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of Joses (Mk 15:47) saw Joseph of Arimathea and Nicodemus prepare Jesus' body with 75 pounds of myrrh and aloes; wrap the body with the spices and strips of linen in accordance with Jewish burial customs, and place it in the tomb (Jn 19: 38-42), why did they go home and prepare spices and perfumes (Lk 23:56) and return to the tomb early Sunday morning (Mt 28:1) with the spices to annoint Jesus' body (Mk 16:1)?
A: To do the job right. (Thanks to my sister-in-law, Janet, for the answer I'm sure all women already knew.)
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Newlyme
Active member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 w/loader, finish mower, tiller, auger, rake. BX24 w/loader, backhoe
One morning at the breakfast table the husband tells his wife that when he dies he wants her to sell all of his stuff immediately.
She asks him why he would want her to do that.
He replied, "I figure that you'd eventually remarry and I don't want some other jerk using my stuff."
She looked at him and said, "What makes you think I would marry another jerk?"
She asks him why he would want her to do that.
He replied, "I figure that you'd eventually remarry and I don't want some other jerk using my stuff."
She looked at him and said, "What makes you think I would marry another jerk?"
Five surgeons from big cities are discussing who makes the best patients to operate on.
The first surgeon, from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second, from Chicago, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles, chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few pieces left over."
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC, shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."
The first surgeon, from New York, says, "I like to see accountants on my operating table because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered."
The second, from Chicago, responds, "Yeah, but you should try electricians. Everything inside them is color coded."
The third surgeon, from Dallas, says, "No, I really think librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order."
The fourth surgeon, from Los Angeles, chimes in: "You know, I like construction workers. Those guys always understand when you have a few pieces left over."
But the fifth surgeon, from Washington DC, shut them all up when he observed: "You're all wrong. Politicians are the easiest to operate on. There's no guts, no heart, no balls, no brains and no spine. Plus, the head and the ass are interchangeable."
There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink
when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me,
grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly,
as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY.
I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I said.
"I'm a complete failure.
I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen
and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife with another man ..
and then my dog bit me."
"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all,
I buy a drink,
I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve;
and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
But, hell, enough about me, how IS YOUR DAY GOING?
when a large, trouble-making biker steps up next to me,
grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig.
"Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly,
as I burst into tears.
"Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY.
I can't stand to see a man crying."
"This is the worst day of my life," I said.
"I'm a complete failure.
I was late to a meeting and my boss fired me.
When I went to the parking lot, I found my car had been stolen
and I don't have any insurance.
I left my wallet in the cab I took home.
I found my wife with another man ..
and then my dog bit me."
"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all,
I buy a drink,
I drop a capsule in it and sit here watching the poison dissolve;
and then you show up and drink the whole damn thing!
But, hell, enough about me, how IS YOUR DAY GOING?
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
The first guy to ever eat a chicken egg............
Many, many years ago these two guys were watching this chicken. One guy told the other one "I dare you to eat the next thing that comes out of that chickens butt."
Many, many years ago these two guys were watching this chicken. One guy told the other one "I dare you to eat the next thing that comes out of that chickens butt."