Daily Chuckle
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Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Two great white sharks, swimming in the ocean, spied survivors of a sunken ship. "Follow me, son." the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people.
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did."Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the poop inside!"
"First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did."Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.
When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"
His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the poop inside!"
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
When the Europeans came to America they found Indian tribes where the men hunted and fished all day and the women did all the rest of the work. They then worked hard to change this system - what were they thinking?
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
xrocketengineer
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
BX1880, FEL, Grapple, 36 in. Forks, 48in. MMM, Quick Spade, Ripper
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
The Bitter Truth !
A man is watching a game of golf on TV. But he keeps switching channels to
a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple having raucous sex.
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he says to his wife.
"For Heaven's sake, watch them," his wife says. "You already know how to
play golf!"
A man is watching a game of golf on TV. But he keeps switching channels to
a dirty movie featuring a lusty couple having raucous sex.
"I don't know whether to watch them or the game," he says to his wife.
"For Heaven's sake, watch them," his wife says. "You already know how to
play golf!"
i7win7
Well-known member
Equipment
BX2370, B2650 grapple, tree puller, trailer mover, 3 point hoist, mower, tiller
When the dwarf stopped the cattle stampede in its tracks, everyone called it a miracle. “He's done the imp-pause-a-bull,” they said.
Bmyers
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Grand L3560 with LA805 loader, EA 55" Wicked Grapple, SBX72 BB, LP 1272 mower
Bmyers
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Grand L3560 with LA805 loader, EA 55" Wicked Grapple, SBX72 BB, LP 1272 mower
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
Arthur is 90 years old. He's played golf every day since his retirement 25
years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells
his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit
the ball I couldn't see where it went."
His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says,
"Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try."
"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't
help."
"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is
perfect."
So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law.
He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".
"Where did it go?" says Arthur.
"I don't remember."
years ago. One day he arrives home looking downcast. "That's it," he tells
his wife. "I'm giving up golf. My eyesight has become so bad that once I hit
the ball I couldn't see where it went."
His wife sympathises and makes him a cup of tea. As they sit down she says,
"Why don't you take my brother with you and give it one more try."
"That's no good" sighs Arthur, "your brother's a hundred and three. He can't
help."
"He may be a hundred and three", says the wife, "but his eyesight is
perfect."
So the next day Arthur heads off to the golf course with his brother-in-law.
He tees up, takes a mighty swing and squints down the fairway.
He turns to the brother-in-law and says, "Did you see the ball?"
"Of course I did!" replied the brother-in-law. "I have perfect eyesight".
"Where did it go?" says Arthur.
"I don't remember."
Magicman
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
A· I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
· Life is sexually transmitted.
· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..
· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'
· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
· There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.
· Life is sexually transmitted.
· Healthy is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
· The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
· Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
· Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
· Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.
· All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
· In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal..
· How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
· Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things and drink whatever comes out?'
· If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
· Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
· If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
· If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
· Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
· Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
· Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?