Daily Chuckle

85Hokie

85Hokie

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Equipment
BX-25D ,PTB. Under Armor, '90&'92-B7100HST's, '06 BX1850 FEL
Jul 13, 2013
10,745
2,551
113
Bedford - VA
hodge

hodge

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John Deere 790 John Deere 310 backhoe Bobcat 743
Nov 19, 2010
2,903
450
83
Love, VA
85Hokie said:
Jezzz.....how many times have I been to the dog house.......I need to take off my shoes and count!;)

Hodge that was funny as hell!!! thank you for waking me up this AM.:)

awww yessssss, the "dual bag" .....kinda reminds me of another type of bag!
Click to expand...
I was trying to figure out what they were folding- fitted sheets would be cruel and unusual.
 
skeets

skeets

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,554
3,306
113
SW Pa
Now who hasnt been there,,, comon who? Just like I though. I'll talk to ya guys later I have to get my lesh for a walk
 
sheepfarmer

sheepfarmer

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L3560, B2650, Gator, Ingersoll mower
Nov 14, 2014
4,449
677
113
MidMichigan
Ah yes...from the other side, the place I would have liked to send my ex to after he tracked up the just mopped floors and instead of saying geez I'm sorry said " well they were just going to get dirty again anyway"... on the other hand I still have and like the pitchfork he gave me for Xmas, so you just can never tell what is going to land you in the doghouse. :rolleyes:
 
olthumpa

olthumpa

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L275
May 25, 2011
1,501
3
38
Maine
Wife actually wanted a new vacuum one year. :D
The new bucket and mop :mad: - not so much :confused:.

You can figure a woman 36-24-36 :cool:
But you can't figure them out :confused: :p :D
 
D

Diydave

New member

Equipment
L2202 tractor, L185f tractor
Oct 31, 2013
1,635
11
0
Gambrills, MD USA
The doghouse video was good, but the amazing jake christmas card on youtube, is a definite sender. You gotta search it and post it, I don't wanna get blamed fer it. On the subject of romance, maybe some firewood will fix the frosties...

or sale >farm & garden - by owner
reply x prohibited[?] Posted: about 11 hours ago print
ROMANCE WOOD - $45 (Anamosa)


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safety tips
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Have a nice romantic evening with the little lady sitting by the fire, I have a 4ft by 8ft stack of split dry firewood for sale for $45, don't piss her off with one of those little bundles from the store, her fire might go out to quick,show her what a man you are and come get a stack because I don't deliver,guaranted to work unless your an ugly sucker, thanks give me a call
do NOT contact me with unsolicited services or offers
post id: 5184905746 posted: about 11 hours ago email to friend ***9829; best of [?]
Avoid scams, deal locally Beware wiring (e.g. Western Union), cashier checks, money orders, shipping. :D:D
 
Daren Todd

Daren Todd

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Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
May 18, 2014
10,148
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113
Vilonia, Arkansas
Through the pitch-black night, the captain sees a light dead ahead on a collision course with his ship. He sends a signal: "Change your course ten degrees east." The light signals back: "Change yours, ten degres west." Angry, the captain sends: "I'm a Navy captain! Change your course, sir!" "I'm a seaman, second class," comes the reply. "Change your course, sir." Now the captain is furious. "I'm a battleship! I'm not changing course!" There's one last reply. "I'm a lighthouse. Your call."
 
skeets

skeets

Well-known member

Equipment
BX 2360 /B2601
Oct 2, 2009
14,554
3,306
113
SW Pa
IRISH LOGIC

The mother-in-law arrives home from the shops
to find her son-in-law Paddy in a steaming rage
and hurriedly packing his suitcase.

"What happened Paddy?" she asks anxiously.

"What happened? I'll tell you what happened.
I sent an email to me wife telling her I was coming
home today from my fishing trip. I get home...
and guess what I found? Yes, your daughter,
my wife Jean, naked with Joe Murphy in our
marital bed! This is unforgivable, the end of our
marriage. I'm done. I am leaving forever!

"Ah, now, calm down, calm down, Paddy!"
says his mother-in-law. "There is something
very odd going on here. Jean would never do
such a thing! There must be a simple explanation.
I'll go speak to her immediately and find out
what happened."

Moments later, the mother-in-law comes back
with a big smile.

"Paddy, I told you there must be a simple
explanation... she never got your email ."
 
D

D2Cat

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Lifetime Member

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L305DT, B7100HST, TG1860, TG1860D, L4240
Mar 27, 2014
13,816
5,559
113
40 miles south of Kansas City
Took down our American flag and peeled the NRA sticker off the front door. We've disconnected our home alarm system and quit our candy-ass
Neighborhood Watch.

Bought two Pakistani flags on eBay and raised them in the front yard, one at each corner, plus a black flag of ISIS in the center.

Now, the local police, sheriff, FBI, CIA, NSA, Homeland Security, Secret Service and other agencies are all watching the house 24/7.
I've never felt safer and we're saving $49.95 a month.
 
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C

curiousj

New member

Equipment
bx2370-1, FEL, 54" mmm
May 9, 2015
18
1
0
76
Eastern Connecticut
Sam and Sue are a ninety-ish year old couple who have been married seemingly forever, and who couldn’t be more different. Sue is an outgoing and talkative yet organized lady who is a hopeless romantic, even to the point that she sends out emails and texts in poetic verse. Sam is a man who is very taciturn and very down to earth, generally choosing as few words as possible to get his message across.

On a beautiful and sunny Saturday morning Sue wakes up at 6:30 and immediately starts attending to the chores she has scheduled herself for the day. After an hour or so at home she immediately hits the road, driving around town to pick up this and that, followed by stopping off for a break at the local diner for a cup of coffee and a muffin. While sitting at the counter she wonders what Sam might be up to and decides to text him with her usual romantic flair:

“If you’re just waking up, send me a dream.
If you’re just sitting down to breakfast, send me a bite.
If you’re reading a book, send me a thought.
And if you’re in the same mood as me right now, send me your love”

Five minutes later, Sue receives Sam’s return text:

“I’m sitting on the toilet. Please advise”.
 
K

Kurtee

Active member

Equipment
BX2660, BX2680 cab, JD 2032R, Honda 5518, JD X590, JD X739
Oct 3, 2013
320
108
43
Nicollet, mn
Buying boot laces.
On a Saturday afternoon on our way home, my wife and I stopped at our local farm and fleet store. I needed boot laces. I am in the habit of buying extra as I will need them anyhow. I had 6 pairs of laces and one pair of laces for my wife. We proceeded to the checkout. I put all the laces on the belt and waited as the checkout girl scanned them. In the process of scanning she commented on the amount of laces we had. I replied "They're good for bondage". Then my wife who had not heard what I said stepped up beside me and said "He keeps breaking them" and demonstrated the boot lace pull which didn't matter. I had scanned my card and was waiting. The girl says "just sign it"
 
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