Is there anything that your wife or partner did or said many years ago that still makes you laugh decades later?

[McMXi]

I don't get into personal stuff very often on this forum, or anywhere else for that matter, but I was married to a wonderful woman for 22 years and she used to make some really funny comments or observations. She was a 5ft, 100lb Chinese/Fillipino girl born and raised in Hawaii, as were both her parents. She was small in stature but had so much character, and was a gun loving, car loving, America loving sweetheart of a girl.

I used to read the local paper when I got home from work and would often read an article to her that I thought she might find interesting. Back in 2002 when the winter olympics was going to be held in Salt Lake City, UT there was an article about the preparations. The headline that I read to her was "US Secret Service training for winter Olympics" to which she responded, "oh my goodness, what events are they going to do?"

Decades later I still laugh when I think about her response.

 

[Lil Foot]

Posted this earlier.
Actual incident. Years ago the wife & I were watching tv when a news item came on announcing Joan Collins' 70th birthday party. She was wearing a very short, very tight-waisted, very low cut purple satin dress, which showed off her amazing physique, and of course her beautiful face & hair. She really looked stunning. My wife commented "I hope I look that good when I'm 70." Without engaging brain before mouth, I blurted out "I wish you looked that good now."
After I picked myself off the floor, I had to endure about a week of silent treatment. She eventually got over it, she's a good sport.
But ever since, my mouth now has a 6 second live broadcast delay.

 

[chim]

Years ago Wifey was reading the story of the big tidal wave in Thailand and I burst out laughing. She looked at me like I was crazy and wanted to know how I could possibly find any humor in such an awful disaster. I told her she needs to pronounce "Phuket" differently if she discusses the event with anyone else. Then the light went on

 

[McMXi]

Posted this earlier.
Actual incident. Years ago the wife & I were watching tv when a news item came on announcing Joan Collins' 70th birthday party. She was wearing a very short, very tight-waisted, very low cut purple satin dress, which showed off her amazing physique, and of course her beautiful face & hair. She really looked stunning. My wife commented "I hope I look that good when I'm 70." Without engaging brain before mouth, I blurted out "I wish you looked that good now."
After I picked myself off the floor, I had to endure about a week of silent treatment. She eventually got over it, she's a good sport.
But ever since, my mouth now has a 6 second live broadcast delay.

That is an hilarious story!

"I wish you looked that good now" ..... too funny!

 

[MapleLeafFarmer]

Years ago Wifey was reading the story of the big tidal wave in Thailand and I burst out laughing. She looked at me like I was crazy and wanted to know how I could possibly find any humor in such an awful disaster. I told her she needs to pronounce "Phuket" differently if she discusses the event with anyone else. Then the light went on

made me chuckle. I just returned from Phuket couple weeks ago after a couple weeks of r/r and fishing.

 

[Tarmy]

I do….

 

[ayak]

“I found your damn deer…”

We’d been tracking a buck into the night that I had one lunged with a recurve. I tracked low to water and had her go high on the hillside (thinking it would never go that way).
Have never heard the end of that one, 38 years later

 

[dlsmith]

Yeah, when we were married in 1970, she said she'd never leave me.
She left in 1981. Came back in '85 and left again in '87.

 

[NCL4701]

One afternoon, our son and I decided to do some clay shooting at home. We got things set up and invited wife as she hadn’t shot in quite a while and one of the shotguns we were using was the one we left out in our bedroom for emergencies. At first, she declined but when we were about done, she came out to play.

She wanted to use the bedroom shotgun to refamiliarize herself with it. It’s the first gun I ever bought. A utility grade 12 gauge Remington 870 Magnum Express Turkey Special. Chambered for 2 3/4” or 3”. It’s a light gun. Light 2 3/4” field loads like we were using for clays, it’s pretty friendly. Heavy 3” loads, recoil gets a little rowdy. She shot at about a dozen clays. Hit a few and missed a few. Then she asked if the light loads of number 8 birdshot she’d been shooting is what it’s loaded with when it’s in the house. Told her no, it’s normally loaded with 3” loads of 000 buckshot. Works the same, just kicks harder but if she’s being attacked by an intruder she won’t care how hard it kicks.

She insists she wants to shoot it with whatever is normally in it. After some back and forth, I acquiesce. Tell her to make sure it’s tight on her shoulder, not on her collar bone, and hold on tight to the fore end. She says she just shot it two dozen times and get out of her way.

It didn’t knock her down and she didn’t drop it. She did take a big step back to keep from falling down and the muzzle was near straight up after she shot. She was not happy. She asked, “Why the hell do we have this thing?” Told her we hunt squirrels and rabbits and once in a while ducks with it. We mess around shooting clays with it. Of course home defense as well. She said, “You need a gun for that stuff. This isn’t a gun, it’s a @$&%# cannon!” Told her sort of true, and if there’s ever someone trying to kick down a door while I’m at work and she racks the slide on that thing, the person on the other side won’t be thinking “there’s someone inside and they have a gun”, they’ll be thinking, “there’s someone inside and they have a @$&%# cannon”.

She pondered on that as she went to get an ice bag for the bruise on her collar bone, and agreed a cannon isn’t a bad thing to have in a pinch. We all laughed about that later that night. Wife a bit less than son and me.

 

[TheOldHokie]

Yeah - she said yes to honor and obey.

Dan

 

[North Idaho Wolfman]

Yeah - she said yes to honor and obey.

Dan

We purposely left that out of our wedding vows!

 

[WI_Hedgehog]

One day my wife said a key phrase I'm sure some of us have heard: "I need some time alone...I need to find myself."

I said, "You're almost 40, if you don't know where you are by now you never will."

Though I loved her and planned on being happily married for the rest of my life I filed for divorce and eventually got over it. I don't know who she was sleeping with or who she wanted to sleep with, but last I heard she was in an unsatisfying second marriage and I'm very happily single. Her looks faded and the old-lady lines set in, and she's probably losing the battle with the bathroom scale. She may be a boat anchor, but she's not on my boat.

 

[GreensvilleJay]

I'll wait for the '2nd shoe'........ 'made you cry.'.

 

[Flintknapper]

Two things actually, both on the same trip.
While still engaged, we were living in Austin, Texas and going to visit her folks in Deep East Texas (a 5.5 hr drive away). We decided to take her Toyota Celica GT instead of my Bronco. It being a more economical vehicle in terms of fuel. It was standard shift (4 speed) vehicle. Along the way, I noticed at one point....her watching me shift and she had a perplexing look on her face.

So....I looked at her at asked "What"? Without thinking, she blurted out "How do left hand people.......?" (then cut herself off). I completed her thought for her saying "Shift"? I then said right handed. We both laughed at the moment of her brain disegagement.

The next incident was a bit longer, so hang in there if you are still with me this far.

That same trip was in the late fall almost thanksgiving and we were having fairly cold weather already (for Texas). While driving along the rural areas I noticed all the livestock (particularly the horses we saw) putting on their winter coats (thicker hair). I made that remark ("I see the horses are putting on their winter coats").
She immediately asked: "How do they know WHEN to put on their coats"?

It was a fair question....but I didn't want to go through the whole spill of telling her about the Autumnal and Vernal Equinox effects that by virture of lessening or increasing hours of light, stimulates the pituitary gland which increases hair production (or shedding in the spring).

So.....I told her "They don't KNOW, its just 'Nature'. She huffed, "You're just saying that because you don't know! Forced then to tell what I wrote above, I went through it all....and at the end of it , her reply was simply "Right", like she still didn't believe me.

 

[Runs With Scissors]

Many, many moons ago, my wife and I were outside doing something and she says “What time is it?'

I immediately looked up to the sky, then looked around, and shot back “1632”…..then continued doing whatever it was we were doing.

She says “How the hell do you know that?”

Without missing a beat, I said “It’s part of my "Marine Corps Time Training”……We are trained to be able to tell the time, only using the sun, just in case we are trapped behind enemy lines."

So she digs out her “flip phone” and says, “Well, I‘ll be damned, that training really worked, you're exactly right!"


So we continued working for another few minutes and I busted out laughing, uncontrollably.

“Whats so funny?” she says.




I had to tell her that I had just looked at my phone a few seconds before she asked me, and that there is no "Marine Corps Time Training"

To this day, whenever she asks me “What time is it?” I look up and say something smart like “well judging from the sun…….”

 

[GrumpyFarmer]

When we first bought our house there were some break in the larger area (couple roads over within a couple miles of us)…anyway we had an unusual visit one day from 3 very large men in a box truck wanting to sell me stuff out of the back of there truck. They were pretty aggressive but I kept my distance from the one that got out of truck, and I gave him 2 options. Leave or I release this dog and grab a toy just inside the shop door. Anyway they hopped in truck and left. And I called the sheriff.

couple nights later we are watching TV, I was just wearing a pair of shorts…anyway I hear something that sounds like metal on metal banging around my barn and I look out window and there is a truck parked in middle of the road. So I slipped out the back door and around the barn with two of my friends (S&W) to see what was going on.

as soon as I turned on my sure fire, they hopped in truck and took off like a bandit. So as I am walking back to the house, am startled and surprised by my wife standing there with my 11-87 like she is on some type of urban assault. (She had never used or even loaded a shotgun in her life at this point) I said the what F are you doing. I told you to stay inside and call the sheriff if anything happens. She said I thought you would need help. What were you going to do with the smoke wagon you got there? She said I don’t know. I said did you load it? No. Did you bring and shells? No. So now I have to wipe it off from whatever lotion is on your hands? What do you mean the lotion is clean and it’s not for the shotgun. I just started laughing.

I just laughed. She was trying to help and that meant a lot. I said well you did not want to shoot clays with me but that needs to change if you plan to help. She has come along nicely…not quite ‘Heather Gummer’ yet but she’s getting close. Now whenever she is getting ready to shoot, I asked if she is lubed up and loaded it and we both laugh.