Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Lil Foot]

View attachment 94335

I have always wanted to try that!

 

[Magicman]

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

At a restaurant celebrating their 50th Anniversary, the husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind the village tavern where you leaned against the back fence and I made love to you."
Yes, she says, "I remember it well."
"OK," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"
"Oh Jim, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but good idea!"
A police officer sitting in the next booth heard their conversation and, having a chuckle to himself, he thinks to himself, I've got to follow these two to keep an eye on them in case they need help.
The couple walks haltingly along, leaning on each other for support aided by walking sticks. Finally, they get to the back of the tavern and make their way to the fence. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, they suddenly erupt into the most furious sex that the policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about ten minutes while both are making loud noises and moaning and screaming. Finally, they both collapse, panting on the ground.
The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about life and old age that he didn't know..
After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The policeman, is still watching and thinks to himself, this is truly amazing, I've got to ask them what their secret is.
So, as the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"
Shaking, the old man is barely able to reply, "Well, fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

 

[Toyboy]

 

[Toyboy]

 

[xrocketengineer]

View attachment 94372

Maybe there is nothing scary about it but what about the three glowing eyes?

 

[fried1765]

View attachment 94205

That is particularly funny for me!
When I was a college freshman, a classmate had a private pilot license.
I rode in the Cub passenger seat, and streamed toilet paper out, while he flew low circles above his girl friend's house.
We were trying to wrap the chimney.
He later became a Marine Corps pilot, and I a Navy pilot!

 

[i7win7]

 

[i7win7]

 

[Magicman]

 

[ayak]

 

[i7win7]

 

[ayak]

 

[DustyRusty]

A man wakes up one morning to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for "Bear Removers."

He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes. The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun, and a mean old pit bull.

"What are you going to do," the homeowner asks.

"I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van."

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

"What's the shotgun for?" asks the homeowner.

"If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog."

 

[Magicman]