Daily Chuckle
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Daren Todd
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Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Bmyers
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Lifetime Member
Equipment
Grand L3560 with LA805 loader, EA 55" Wicked Grapple, SBX72 BB, LP 1272 mower
The heavy assault version is actually a bicorn. Much more common than unicorns, but these days, the bi prefix may be offensive. The one in question can likely identify as a unicorn and any discussion or debate with it would likely be moot. Sounds a lot like some people I know, but they’re not nearly as fictitious as the unicorn. Pity.
Seeing that a donkey is also called an a$$, which word commonly refers to something resembling a hole, if a donkey were some kind of corn, would it be a cornhole? Like the popular game at tailgating parties?WHEW! Glad there weren't any donkeys or elephants
I don’t think I can do the 6 degree thing with unicorns and elephants though. Well, not in a family friendly and inclusive forum, anyway, if I want to keep my paid membership. Yeah, I’ve been watching Mike Rowe on Peacock again. I do love that man’s sense of humor.
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
GreensvilleJay
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Equipment
BX23-S,57 A-C D-14,58 A-C D-14, 57 A-C D-14,tiller,cults,Millcreek 25G spreader,
sigh, I had a FARFISA FAST4 organ in the mid '70's......
those were the dayze my friends.......
those were the dayze my friends.......
Newlyme
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M4900 w/loader, finish mower, tiller, auger, rake. BX24 w/loader, backhoe
Magicman
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M4900 Utility Special 4WD e/w FEL & 1530 John Deere "Traveling Man"
An old woman, a beautiful girl, an army general, and a young soldier are sitting in the same car on a train.
Suddenly, the train goes into a dark tunnel.
There is a rustle of movement, a loud kiss, and a firm slap.
The train returns to the light. The general has a red mark on his cheek.
The old woman thinks, “Good for her. So many young girls today have no principles. That old man kissed her, and she slapped him right across the face.”
The beautiful girl thinks, “How odd, that that general would choose to kiss that old lady instead of me.”
The general thinks, “Well, isn’t that a fine thing. That young pup steals a kiss from a beautiful girl and I get the slap.”
The soldier thinks, “Not a bad day at all! All I had to do was kiss the back of my hand, and I got to slap a general and get away with it!”
Suddenly, the train goes into a dark tunnel.
There is a rustle of movement, a loud kiss, and a firm slap.
The train returns to the light. The general has a red mark on his cheek.
The old woman thinks, “Good for her. So many young girls today have no principles. That old man kissed her, and she slapped him right across the face.”
The beautiful girl thinks, “How odd, that that general would choose to kiss that old lady instead of me.”
The general thinks, “Well, isn’t that a fine thing. That young pup steals a kiss from a beautiful girl and I get the slap.”
The soldier thinks, “Not a bad day at all! All I had to do was kiss the back of my hand, and I got to slap a general and get away with it!”
The world's richest man is dying. He's made peace with that, but what bothers him is no one in the afterlife will even know it.
Here, he's a self-made man who created this huge fortune from scratch, but he can't take it with him. Not that he could spend it, of course, but just to SHOW everyone what a great success the poor boy had become.
He broods over this so that his guardian angel is worried. One night the angel flies to Heaven to consult Jesus. Jesus says “Well, you know earthly wealth has no place here"
The angel replies “I know Lord, but he's been such a good man. Did a lot for charity, ran his business honestly. He's only human. He can't help having this little quirk. Isn't there something we can do to ease his mind?
Jesus thinks a moment. “”All right. Let's look him up in the Book of Life" The Book is like a film of this man's life and seeing his struggles , Jesus is moved.
He tells the guardian angel “Wake him and tell him I will allow him to bring one suitcase-only one, mind you. And he can fill it with whatever wealth he chooses. At the moment of his death it will be brought to heaven with him.”
The angel goes down and gives the message. The guy is happy, but what should he bring? Our money would mean nothing to people from another time, jewels could be faked, stocks and bonds could not be traded so they'd be so much paper. Finally it dawns on him. Gold. Gold has been valued throughout history.
He sends out for the biggest suitcase he can find, fills it with gold bars, and sets it beside his bed. Now he can die in peace, and he does.
True to the promise he arrives at the Pearly Gates, suitcase in hand. St. Peter greets him warmly and says “All right, let's see what was so important to you that eternal life and bliss wasn't enough"
The man proudly opens the suitcase, stuffed with row after row of little gold bars.
St. Peter stares at it, puzzled, and says “You brought pavement?”
Here, he's a self-made man who created this huge fortune from scratch, but he can't take it with him. Not that he could spend it, of course, but just to SHOW everyone what a great success the poor boy had become.
He broods over this so that his guardian angel is worried. One night the angel flies to Heaven to consult Jesus. Jesus says “Well, you know earthly wealth has no place here"
The angel replies “I know Lord, but he's been such a good man. Did a lot for charity, ran his business honestly. He's only human. He can't help having this little quirk. Isn't there something we can do to ease his mind?
Jesus thinks a moment. “”All right. Let's look him up in the Book of Life" The Book is like a film of this man's life and seeing his struggles , Jesus is moved.
He tells the guardian angel “Wake him and tell him I will allow him to bring one suitcase-only one, mind you. And he can fill it with whatever wealth he chooses. At the moment of his death it will be brought to heaven with him.”
The angel goes down and gives the message. The guy is happy, but what should he bring? Our money would mean nothing to people from another time, jewels could be faked, stocks and bonds could not be traded so they'd be so much paper. Finally it dawns on him. Gold. Gold has been valued throughout history.
He sends out for the biggest suitcase he can find, fills it with gold bars, and sets it beside his bed. Now he can die in peace, and he does.
True to the promise he arrives at the Pearly Gates, suitcase in hand. St. Peter greets him warmly and says “All right, let's see what was so important to you that eternal life and bliss wasn't enough"
The man proudly opens the suitcase, stuffed with row after row of little gold bars.
St. Peter stares at it, puzzled, and says “You brought pavement?”
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter
Daren Todd
Well-known member
Lifetime Member
Equipment
Massey Ferguson 1825E, Kubota Z121S, Box blade, Rotary Cutter