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Here's all the boys at Tractor Supply in the doggie treat aisle. They go with the motto "You bite it you bought it!

Chores go a lot better with some good help!

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes. Andy Rooney

I think Tech Support has our back. Dear Desperate, First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If...

Beware Fellas, The girls are goin' Hi Tech on us! Dear Tech Support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0. In addition...

I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person. Andy Rooney

A Senior Citizen trying to set their password. Windows: Please enter your new password. User: cabbage Windows: Sorry, the password must be more than eight characters. User: boiled cabbage Windows: Sorry, the password must contain one numerical character. User: 1 boiled cabbage Windows...

Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty and the pig likes it! George Bernard Shaw

Old Farmer Clyde got called into court and charged with insurance fraud. Farmer Clyde had a car accident. The lawyer for the insurance company was questioning Clyde, Didn't you say at the scene of the accident, "I'm fine." Clyde responded, "Well, I'll tell you what happened. I had just loaded my...

Sorry to hear about the loss. Reminds me of a similar situation I went through. Twenty some years ago I had a construction company, small but I had a lot invested. I had to take the panel truck in for a front end alignment. I was too lazy to empty the tools out for one day at the repair shop...

Same here. (In the winter I drive.;)) I'll remember this when I make my trek! Glad to hear no one got hurt.

Well they must not have worked the second time, we haven't "Herd" about any new cows serviced the past 36 hours! Unless it lasted more than 4 hours and your still at the doctors! Sorry, couldn't resist. :p

Sometimes those who claim to have an open mind really don't have an open mind at all. It's just empty. Anon

...he...she...he...she... Oh never mind!

With the summer Olympics coming up I started thinking about all of the great athletes that we have seen through the years. When I got to 1976 Decathlon how could you not remember Bruce Jenner's great performance. He was the man. Uh, she...he...she...

My pet chameleon quit changing colors recently so I took him to the Vet. He was diagnosed with a reptile dysfunction!

Living on Earth is expensive but it does come with free trips around the sun. Unknown

A retired Air Force fighter pilot boarded a comercial flight and sat down next to a woman with a newborn baby. As the plane took off the new mom started breastfeeding the baby and finished when the plane leveled off. As they reached their destination she again started breastfeeding as the plane...

You think that's funny... I saw that posted at the waitress station in a restaurant I was at today. When I got home tonight I repeated it to the Mrs, she laughed alright, AND then said is there any reason you're bringing this up? THAT'S when my life flashed before my eyes! I'm still here as...

You know those studies that say eggs are good one week and bad the next and red wine makes you live longer only to be debunked the next month. We'll I finally found one that is timeless! A recent study done at Johns Hopkins University found that... "Women who carry a little extra weight live...