Daily Chuckle

[Magicman]

 

[Tughill Tom]

 

[Tughill Tom]

 

[DaTow'd]

Q: Why blind people do not sky dive?




A: It scares the shit outta the dog.

 

[6869704x4]

 

[Magicman]

 

[airbiscuit]

A farmer was telling another farmer that he bought a bull that seemed a little light in the loafers - he showed absolutely no interest in the cows. He went to the vet, and the vet gave him a jar of powder. The farmer forced some of it down the bull's throat. The bull snorted and bucked and jumped out of the pen. He bred every cow and heifer in the field - some of them twice. Then he jumped the fence and bred all the neighbor's cows. The farmer said, that's the last time I saw him. His friend asked, what was in the jar? The farmer said, I don't know, but it tasted kind of like licorice.

 

[xrocketengineer]

View attachment 147347

As long as the horn works ...

 

[Sidekick]

 

[skeets]

 

[D2Cat]

Skeets , I just noticed in 2 1/2 months will be the 10 year anniversary of you starting this thread. Back in those days there wasn't much going on. It was a good idea, and very popular. Congratulations.

 

[skeets]

D2Cat, Wow I didnt know it was that far back, time seems to just fly by. And if just one person got a chuckle out of anything, then it was worth it.

 

[RCW]

I always check this thread.

Gotten a lot of chuckles from it over the years.

 

[Lil Foot]

Yes, Thank You for this thread, not a lot of laughs in my life sometimes, so this really helps my sanity!

 

[aaluck]

Agree. I check it every few days. Really enjoy it.

 

[xrocketengineer]

Yes! It keeps my insanity in check.

 

[bearbait]

 

[D2Cat]

A man, a miss,
A car a curve.
He kissed the miss,
And missed the curve. Burma Shave


I'm sure that Burma Shave actually saved some lives. People laughed and then were more careful! It was a REAL "service" to America, even though it was an advertisement and it was one of the RARE "really useful" ones!


For those who never saw any of the Burma Shave signs, here is a quick lesson in our history of the 1930's and '40's.
Before there were interstates, when everyone drove the old 2 lane roads, Burma Shave signs would be posted all over the countryside in farmers' fields. They were small red signs with white letters. Five signs, about 100 feet apart, each containing 1 line of a 4 line couplet… and the obligatory 5th sign advertising Burma Shave, a popular shaving cream.


DON'T STICK YOUR ELBOW
OUT SO FAR
IT MAY GO HOME
IN ANOTHER CAR. Burma Shave

TRAINS DON'T WANDER
ALL OVER THE MAP
'CAUSE NOBODY SITS
IN THE ENGINEER'S LAP. Burma Shave

SHE KISSED THE HAIRBRUSH
BY MISTAKE
SHE THOUGHT IT WAS
HER HUSBAND JAKE. Burma Shave

DON'T LOSE YOUR HEAD
TO GAIN A MINUTE
YOU NEED YOUR HEAD
YOUR BRAINS ARE IN IT. Burma Shave

DROVE TOO LONG
DRIVER SNOOZING
WHAT HAPPENED NEXT
IS NOT AMUSING. Burma Shave

BROTHER SPEEDER
LET'S REHEARSE
ALL TOGETHER
GOOD MORNING, NURSE. Burma Shave

CAUTIOUS RIDER
TO HER RECKLESS DEAR
LET'S HAVE LESS BULL
AND A LITTLE MORE STEER. Burma Shave

SPEED WAS HIGH
WEATHER WAS NOT
TIRES WERE THIN
X MARKS THE SPOT. Burma Shave

THE MIDNIGHT RIDE
OF PAUL FOR BEER
LED TO A WARMER
HEMISPHERE. Burma Shave

AROUND THE CURVE
LICKETY-SPLIT
BEAUTIFUL CAR
WASN'T IT? Burma Shave

NO MATTER THE PRICE
NO MATTER HOW NEW
THE BEST SAFETY DEVICE
IN THE CAR IS YOU. Burma Shave

A GUY WHO DRIVES
A CAR WIDE OPEN
IS NOT THINKIN'
HE'S JUST HOPIN’ Burma Shave

AT INTERSECTIONS
LOOK EACH WAY
A HARP SOUNDS NICE
BUT IT'S HARD TO PLAY. Burma Shave

BOTH HANDS ON THE WHEEL
EYES ON THE ROAD
THAT'S THE SKILLFUL
DRIVER'S CODE. Burma Shave

THE ONE WHO DRIVES
WHEN HE'S BEEN DRINKING
DEPENDS ON YOU
TO DO HIS THINKING. Burma Shave

CAR IN DITCH
DRIVER IN TREE
THE MOON WAS FULL
AND SO WAS HE. Burma Shave

PASSING SCHOOL ZONE
TAKE IT SLOW
LET OUR LITTLE
SHAVERS GROW. Burma Shave

 

[Sidekick]

 

[chim]

Two I remember from along PA230 between E-town and Middletown:

HE LIT A MATCH
TO CHECK GAS TANK
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL HIM
SKINLESS FRANK


BEN MET ANNA
MADE A HIT
FORGOT TO SHAVE
BEN-ANNA SPLIT